So it was close, but we pulled it off . . . Ed and I will be having our rehearsal dinner at the original place we chose -- the Flabread Company.

While there's about seven stores, the restaurant in portland is full of wood, exposed pipes and a gorgeous stone oven, where chefs cook fresh, organic pizzas. Some of the pizzas offer gourmet toppings but the restaurant also has the traditional cheese and pepperoni, which is great for non-adventurous eaters.

There's also a deck that overlooks the ocean, so we'll be dining out there if it's warm enough. 

Ed and I really wanted a casual, light dinner since we're serving a heavier meal at the reception. We also wanted an informal atmosphere where guests could get to know each other and relax after their travels.

In short, we're pretty psyched. But it was a little too close for comfort!

That pretty much describes Ed and I right now . . . as in, waiting with . . .

Why, you ask? Just a little matter of the rehearsal dinner. We had booked something back in the spring -- a casual place serving brick-oven pizza and salad. Since we planned to invite everyone to the dinner, it made sence to keep it casual and cheap. We figured about 40 people would come and we'd need to cut costs.

Well, actually about 80 people are coming. The pizza place isn't sure they can fit us, and just about every retaurant in Portland is booked that night or too small to hold 80 people. Some of the restaurants would exceed capacity at that number.

So Ed and I are hoping for the best -- that the funky pizza place will show some mercy and let us have the rehearsal dinner there. Or the second best -- a function hall will cut us a break and we have to mail about 80 letters announcing the location change.

If you're thinking that there's a large gap between best and second best, you're right.

Lesson learned: Don't invite more people than you have room for. They might all say yes. 

In six weeks, I'll be married. It's actually starting to sink in a little bit. When I got engaged more than a year ago, I thought the day would take forever to get here. Now I've got six weeks left to finish things up.

So what am I doing six weeks before the wedding? Mostly now it's just last minute details. I'm getting fitted for my dress. I'm also thinking about what I want to do to get ready for the wedding and scheduling those appointments -- haircut, facial, etc. And I'm finalizing wedding and reception details -- calling people who didn't mail back their reply cards, picking the menu, making sure everything is paid for in full, etc.

My goal is to make sure my wedding day is pretty relaxed, so I'm trying to get all the details taken care of now. I don't want to try to carry checks for the minister and band on my wedding day, get CDs to the boat for background music and generally run a bunch of last-minute errands. So I'm planning on spending one more day in Portand to take care of those details beforehand.  We also have to get up there and apply for a marriage license, which I almost forgot about -- oops.

Any advice on the last few weeks before the wedding? I'd love to hear your thoughts. I read all of your comments, so please post one! 

Sometimes nothing can blow you away as much as your bridal shower. I had mine this past weekend.

It was a surprise shower. My bridesmaids decided on a luau theme and sent me an invitation to a luau at my friend's house. When I arrived -- 45 minutes late, thanks Kenny Chesney and fans (concert) -- I was handed a lei and the party began.

Throwing a bridal shower is no easy task -- especially if you're trying to keep it a surprise. My mom and the bridesmaids cooked all the food, ordered a cake and had tents and chairs and tables set up around the yard. There were lots of thoughful little touches, like hula-girl salt-and-pepper shakers and Hawaiian-themed food. Even better, friends and family came from miles away to attend the shower -- some even drove two hours to be there.

It's amazing to see the lengths people will go to in the name of friendship. My bridemaids literally spent months planning and preparing for this shower and kep me in mind the whole time. I'm a casual person, so they put together a casual cookout. I also don't like presents, so everyone was asked to send a recipe and bring canned goods for a local food pantry.

No time was spent opening presents -- it was all just hanging out and having fun. For me at least. My bridesmaids worked pretty much the entire time. As did my mother, who put together a truly fantastic spread.

I can't thank them enough. While most bridesmaids will have to throw a shower at some point, the fact that mine were so thoughtful and worked so hard made me glad I have such special people in my life. 

So if you're not trashing the dress, or even if you're just lightly trashing it so you can save it for future generations -- you've got to preserve your wedding dress.

According to CNN, the average bride spends a little more than $1,000 on a gown, and if you don't preserve it, it's going to get ugly. According to the CNN article, you should get your dress to the cleaners within a few weeks of the wedding. Then, you have the best chance of getting stains out and preserving the gown. Brides who wait years before heading to the cleaners may not have the same results.

I have a friend who was married a few years ago. She's very tiny and her gown is unlikely to fit her future children. But she still saved it, and plans to turn it into her child's baptism gown someday. So there's plenty of othr options, other than preserving it and hoping for a daughter who actually wants to wear your dress.

If you have a dress that's already preserved, cleaners recommend shifting the material every few years so your dress doesn't get permanent creaselines -- and wearing white glove when you do so (grease from fingers can also damage the gown).

There's a list of cleaners at partypop.com that lists those who preserve wedding gowns.

Also, CNN has wedding-related videos and articles on their Web site, so check them out. 

Another bridal beauty area to be considered is the feet. After all, you probably have a great pair of shoes to go with your dress and, if it's a warm-weather wedding, those shoes will likely show off your feet.

My feet are sadly neglected. If they weren't attached, they'd leave me for a someonw who wouldn't be as hard on them.

This little PR-piece from Microplane Personal Care offers some good tips on making sure your feet look fabulous at the wedding and secrets to keeping feet healthy.

Besides making your feet soft and smooth, the company suggests that you paint your toes a little brighter than your hands to make them pop in photos. It also advises steering clean of colors with a yellow base -- apparently they show up VERY yellow in photos.

And, as always, experiment before your wedding day. 

A great online article offers plenty of tips to look your best on your wedding day. Besides the usual, sleep and drink water advice, the writer offered up some great tips:

• Use a bronzer instead of tanning; it looks softer in photos.
• Go light on makeup. You'll photograph better if you emphasize lips and eyes.
• Do your hair before your makeup. Blow dryers will wreck the makeup
• Stay away from orange and coral lipstick; it makes your teeth look yellow.
• While salt can make your face puffy, sugar can make you look wrinkled -- stay away from both.

Check out the article and if you have any tried-and-true beauty tips, share them here.

For the bride who is stressed out -- or just needs a moment away from it all -- there are now meditation shawls. These big, cosy shawls allow the bride to wrap herself in them and get away from it all.

They can be found at On Slender Threads, where the knitting is done in solitude and the shawls are made from natural fibers. Often earth stones are included in the shawl to increase grounding. From the Web site:

Being infused with grounded symbols each
mindfulness mantle awakens your inner calling,
soothes transitions, and summons embodied change.

Do they work? I don't know for sure, but just looking at them, they seem cozy and peaceful. I'm picturing crisp, fall days with tea and a book. Perhaps it's not the shawl, but the time it allows to be peaceful and reflective that brides really need.

A recently "Dear Abby" column took on the issue of potluck dinners. A guest questioned if it was OK for a bride to ask guest to bring a dish and pitch in and do dishes.

What was particularly interesting to me was the reader response. Several readers wrote in mentioning that in many cultures and religions, such as the Mexicans and Quakers, consider it a honor to be asked to help out, and certainly are willing to help the guests.

In fact, most readers considered it a great way to have a relaxed and inclusive wedding. As times get tighter and food costs rise, we may even see a trend of potluck weddings.  I think even guests who don't have a lot of money can participate, even if they bring a less expensive dish or perhaps the soda.

I do, though, think brides should keep finances in mind. If guests are bringing the food to your wedding, perhaps you should spread the word that their participation is you wedding gift, presents are not expected. That may relieve some of the pressure for guests who may think they have to bring food and a gift and feel stretched a little thin.

Any thoughts on potluck weddings? 

They say the wedding industrial complex is virtually recession-proof. As in, we'll just keep spending money on our weddings regardless of whether we can actually afford it.

Well, many articles online and in newspapers have come up with tips to cut the cost of throwing a bash. In particular, The News & Observer, of Raleigh, N.C., had some great tips from readers.

Among the highlights:

- Register at every bridal store you set foot in. Sure, you'll get junk mail, but you'll also get coupons. One bride saved 50 bucks on her dress, and $50 is $50.

- Make your own favors, expecially from things like Valentine's Day candy, which you can pick up after the holiday for half off.

- Use city, state, county or church facilities. These are often cheaper. In addition you have the ability to cut costs further by bringing your own alcohol.

The Telegraph also has a wedding Web site MapYourWedding.com. There's plenty of advice and links to local vendors available there.

I have decided not to do a seating chart for my wedding. I mean, the reception's in a pub, so why shouldn't people just sit where they want?

Well, according to Perfect Table Plan, I'm making a big mistake. The Web site says only 13 percent of people feel comfortable making their own seating choice, people usually end up wandering around, trying to find a place to sit and there's always someone who doesn't have anyone to sit with. The site said some couples even choose to sit outside because they can't sit together.

So, for a moment, I was a little nervous. After all, I had made my choice based on some anecdotal feedback from my invited guests, and they said they prefer to have a choice. I was also motivated by laziness. The last thing I really want to do a month before my wedding is sit down and figure out where everyone should sit. I mean, addressing the invitations was bad enough.

The it ocurred to me that the Web site is trying to sell me software to do my seating plan. Of course, they're going to tell me I need a seating plan!

They did a have some good suggestions for the seating plan and it's worth checking out if you're planning to have one. You can also download free software to help you arrange the seating.

I think I'm going to stick with my original idea to keep things casual and -- hopefully -- fun and relaxed. Let the butts fall where they may! 

Sometimes my fiance checks in on my blog. And today I want to talk about the wedding clothes, which I'm trying to keep as a surprise for him on our wedding day. I know, you're thinking, "Then don't post it on the Internet." True, but what's a wedding blog without some fashion talk.

So, thus far, I've acquired a headpiece and shoes. Yes, the shoe gods have seen fit to throw a suitable pair in my path. I really wanted silver, but ended up going with a pair of white eyelet flats that I found at Sears for $20. They're super-comfortable, and they're a little different. I couldn't find a picture of them on the Web, so you'll have to use your imagination.

My headpiece is really cool. I did end up going for a circlet to match the Celtic theme of the dress. No veil. Just keeping it simple. It's a silver, woven circlet with a moonstone in the middle. Moonstone means "white magic," and who couldn't use a few blessings on their wedding day? That was $40, cheaper than most veils and fits in to the celtic theme of the dress. I found a great place selling Celtic designs made to order -- Cloak and Dagger Creations in Littleton, Mass. The circlet looks similar to this, if you can picture the silver band woven together instead of laying side by side.

If you're looking for something to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon, head down to the Peabody-Essex Museum in Salem, Mass., and renew you're ability to look at weddings through rose-tinted spectacles.

"Wedded Bliss The Marriage of Art and Ceremony" is running through Sept. 14 and looks at how our ideas of matrimony have shaped art for the past three ceremonies. There are 130 objects -- including a Picasso -- and you'll see paintings alongside jewelery and historical gowns.

The exhibit crosses borders too, with art from the U.S., Asia, Africa and Europe. You can also check out a slideshow.

Here's "Bride with Fan" by Mark Chagall 

The Bridal Stock Exchange in Seabrook is giving away 50 wedding dresses to women serving overseas or engaged to men serving overseas tonight (Wednesday) until 8 p.m.

In the spirit of charity, most places will allow you to donate your wedding dress. The I Do Foundation sells the dresses and donates 10 percent of the proceeds to a charity of a couple's choice.

WedAlert.com has other ideas for brides to turn their wedding into a time of giving to celebrate their special day. 

If you have the chance, pick up tomorrow's Telegraph. I, being in the office, usually get a sneak peek at the next day's pages. Tomorrow's lifestyles section has a lengthly artice on where to cut and where to splurge on your wedding.

For example, did you know that in these hard times, wedding budgets are dropping for the first time since 1999? And that they're dropping $40? It's true. I'm not really sure what the $40 savings gets you when you're spending $28,000 for a wedding -- a trip to the movies? But apparently the tight economy is having an effect on an industry once thought of as "recession-proof."

It's an interesting article and it offers some great ideas about how to cut costs and what guests are really looking at when they head to the wedding.

Tuesday. Telegraph. Lifestyles section. Check it out. 

If you're planning on having a small wedding, or simply have many out-of-town guests that can be present, it's now possible to offer up a Web cast of your wedding.

Some towns and chapels offer the service for as little as $30. Private companies may charge as much as $600, and you'll need a video camera, computer and Internet access. But compared to having and ill parent unable to see the wedding or the travel expenses of family members who live out of country, this can be well worth the expense.

It can also be a great way to keep your wedding small if you're trying to cut expenses, which often means cutting the guest list. Even if you can't invite some friends and family to your wedding, they can tune in at the designated time and see the ceremony.

The downside, of course, is that these friends and family still won't be there for you to celebrate with on the big day. I think it's a great alternative for people who would otherwise not be able to see you married at all, but I don't think it replaces the physical experience.

Also, be aware that some people who are downloading the event in other countries have seen only a blank screen, which Web casters may be due to Web service in that country. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen.

Has anyone out there considered a Web cast for their wedding? Let me know how it works out! 

So you can now feature your wedding on TV -- Star Jone's doesn't have the copyright on it. Even better,you can learn to dance, with a professional choreographer leading the way. TLC's new "Rock the Reception" is teaching average couples to perform a complicated dance for their first time on the floor as man and wife. The next episode airs on TLC at 8:30 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. Tuesday, July 15.

Beyond watching the stories of couples planning their wedding and learning to dance, you, too, can have your 15 minutes of fame. TLC is inviting brides and grooms to contact it and try for a spot on the show if you're looking for that awe-inspiring first dance. Check it out:

If you're a dog lover, you can now dress your dog in a wedding dress for your big day.

Seriously.

There's even advice available online for what kind of dress your dog should wear. f the dress has lots of layers, make sure the dog will be in air-conditioning if it's a summer wedding; consider matching white panties for a short dress; remember the veil may not be include; and if you're dog isn't used to wearing clothes, consider a simple fitted top and a barette instead.

Seriously.

Yup, Ed and I sent out the invitations Monday. Now, if either one of us bails, we actually have to call people and cancel the wedding.

We sprung for some extras on the invitations, including having our return addresses printed on just about everything we possibly could. I will say, it saved us a lot of time, not having to write our address over 100 times. It was definitely $25 well spent.  It took Ed and I three hours working together to assemble and address the invitations.

A couple of things I didn't know:

-If you have your invitations printed, they will likely come with directions as to how to assemble and properly address the envelopes. I didn't know this mainly because the directions were on the bottom of the box. I didn't actually find them until invitation 92.

- Which brings me to the next thing I didn't know: You're supposed to address the inside envelope as well as the outside. Ooops. My apologies to all those guests who have unaddressed inside envelopes. I hope you'll still reply.

- I did manage to put enough postage on. Word to the wise: Most invitations take 59 cents to mail, because they're over the standard one ounce. If you mail them out with a 42-cent stamp, you're going to get them all back.

- Also, there's an orfer to how things are placed in the envelope. Another whoops. I thought I could just wing it.

So if you're learning from my example and want to assemble your pieces according to proper ettquette, check out this site. It's got all the info you need.

However, some people think you won't need it very long. Wedding e-vites are becoming more and more popular. I think this is fine for a casual wedding or a wedding of friends. I like it because I don't have to wonder if the invitation actually arrived. However, my 80-year-old aunt isn't exactly online all the time. It depends on your family though, Ed's 80-year-old mom loves the Internet. 

Also, don't forget to check out Brides.com's blog this week. Vera Wang is guest blogging until June 27. So if you want the queen of bridal's advice or thoughts on how to make your wedding special, check it out. So far she's blogged about picking a wedding dress and registering for gifts. 

Vera Wang at work. Check out her guest blog this week. 

I recently read an article on wedding talk at work. It was definitely an eye-opener, in terms of who to invite and how much to share.

In a nutshell, I chose to invite everyone in my department, but not the company, seeing as our company is REALLY big. There are a few more that I would have liked to invite, but where do you stop? And how do you keep people from being offended? I figured my department would make a clear cut-off point.

What I didn't realize, which the article points out, is you shouldn't share too many details about your wedding with co-workers. It might lead them to believe they're being invited, since there's an expectation that if you're sharing this much with them, they're close enough to share your big day as well. And that can leave people feeling left out.

You're also obligated to invite spouses, finaces and live-in partners to your wedding, even if you haven't met your co-workers' better halves. That's according to Emily Post. I pretty much followed that rule for all invitations. If I had to write "and guest," I simply left it off. That's led to a little confusion from people who assumed I made a mistake, but at least two friends said they were happy to be relieved of the pressure of finding a suitable date and knowing that they wouldn't be the only single at the reception.

For a little fun this weekend, check out your wedding horoscope. It's  based on a new book, "Never Throw Rice at a Pisces," which offers an astrology guide to planning your wedding. This excerpt will tell you exactly what kind of bridesmaid matches your sign. Have a good weekend!

So Ed and I decided to have a sand ceremony as part of our wedding. The idea is that once we take our vows, we will each pour different colors of sand into a glass jar. Ed's children will also add their choice of sand to symbolize our blended family. The the jar is sealed and kept as a keepsake.

Never one to wax sentimental over things like my own wedding (thank goodness Ed has a sense of humor), Ed and I were at a second-hand shop, when I saw a cheese shaker. The old-fashioned kind that you see in Italian restaurants. 

I looked at Ed. He smiled. He said he could definitely seal up the holes so the sand won't fall out. He's a very handy guy.

So we bought a $3 cheese shaker that will become the container in our sand ceremony.

And that is one of the many reasons why I'm marrying Ed.

So ed and I decided to go with the band. Joe, one ofThe Foggy Duo called us last night at home. He seemed really motivated and was excited to play for us. He gave us his home phone number, home e-mail and said he'd be willing to help us in any way he could. I can't help but appreciate the motivation. As a bride, I'm drawn to the vendors who seem excited about my wedding and are willing to work with me and even offer advice. I've never been married before so I like the vendors that are willing to say "Well, this usually work," then back off and let me make the decision.

So Ed and I will be sending out our invitations soon and things will be on their way.

I'm in a bit of a quandry.

I'm getting cold feet . . . about the DJ.

You see, it's like this: About a year ago, I went away for the weekend with a friend to Hampton Beach. We were just kicking around and we ended up at a small bar in the basement of a building listening to this band, The Foggy Duo. We had a blast. Thy got the crowd involved in the show, played songs we knew, and even had the audience come up and play the drums.

I had just gotten engaged at the time, so with wedding on the brain, I asked for their card. They're actually an offshoot of a larger band, Beyond The Pale. Both are Irish bands, and the Duo plays acoustic covers of popular music as well.

Fast forward a few months and Ed has booked a DJ. I then come across their card and, thinking that they're way too expensive, I talk myself out of contacting them. But they're on my mind.

What's the harm in asking, I argue with myself? (No, I do not have a mental disorder, I just talk to myself a lot) So I e-mail them. While Beyond The Pale is out of the question financially, I find that the Duo is willing to play the wedding and will cost $50 LESS than the DJ.

I really enjoyed them, but I'm wondering, can two people get a crowd of 150 going with acoustic music? They did great in the bar, and my friend and I remember the show as the high point of our vacation.  But people can't request any songs -- the rap-lovers are out of luck.

I checked into the question a bit online -- the consensus seems to be that bands work harder to get the crowd going but DJs have a wider selection.

What do you think? DJ or band? Post a comment and let me know what you'd do. In the meantime, take a look at the Duo.

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Here's a great article on how going non-traditional can save you big money. While, not everyone wants to get married on Halloween, I definitely think there are plenty of ways to use holidays, events and just general creative thinking to save yourself some money -- if you're willing to let go of the idea of a princess wedding. If you're committed to walking down the aisle on white, what tips do you have to save money? Post a comment!

One thing Ed and I did was have out invitations printed at a local Paper Store, rather than by a professional printer. We probably cut the price in half and we just got the invitations yesterday -- they look great! There's also invitation kits that allow you to pront your own invitiations off your home computer.

Basically, you have to find the things you can compromise on and trim there.

As I'm getting ready to send out invitations, a piece of me wishes I had cut the guest list a little more. Another part of me wishes I had just rented a bigger place because it's not worth the hassle.

On thing I have noticed, is that the old rules of etiquette do not seem to apply any longer. Growing up, my mother always told me, if the invitation is not addressed to you, you're not invited. Hence, if a wedding invitation arrived addressed to "Mr. and Mrs.," then us kids didn't go. If an inivitation was addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. and family," then it was a free-for-all.

As I have previously mentioned, I cut children and "and guest" from the inivitation list before sending out my save the dates. As such, I've had people casually mention bringing their children, wonder aloud who they should bring as their date or ask if I intend to invite children.

All in all, it's an uncomfortable situation. And I can't help but wonder: Am I the only one who has ever heard of this rule?

No, I'm not. A close friend agreed with me that how the invitation is addressed says it all. Being right isn't much comfort though, when you don't know how to tell people they can't bring their children.

Would you try to fit the extra people or would you say something? Post a comment and give me some much needed advice! 

Today, I learned that two co-workers have become engaged to each other. We were all full of congratulations and goodwill. The bride smiled, the groom blushed.

And I became one of THOSE brides.

When I first got engaged, I realized suddenly everyone had to tell me about their wedding. Ask if you should go with the blue or white napkin, and you'll get back, "I remember when I got married, we had red napkins. And Uncle Phil started waving it at the kids and started a faux bullfight. One of the kids ran into a waiter, who spilled the main course down Cousin Ruth's dress. So I wouldn't go with a red napkin."

Okay . . . . 

Never really understood the impulse. And I have to say, I still don't really get it. Nonetheless, I heard myself say, amid the congratulations, "When Ed proposed to me . . . ."

I couldn't stop myself. My mouth took on a life of its own. Despite the fact that my brain was screaming, "Shut up!! SHUT UP!!!" my mouth still kept going. I wanted her to enjoy the attention and celebration aimed in her direction. Yet, somehow, for lack of nothing to say, other than congratulations, I began prattling.

So if you're newly engaged, try to be patient when someone comes up to you and starts talking about their own wedding, even though their children are in high school.

You can't help it. Sometimes we all have dirrhea of the mouth. 

Before Ed and I bought a house, I spend hours online researching home prices, market values, mortgage rates, etc.

The same can not be said for my bridal gown. Don't get me wrong. I spent lots of time researching different styles, fabrics and looks, but the woman who is sewing my gown -- not at all. I was just happy to have found her.

I lucked out. Deb has bought the fabric I requested, show it to me and is busy working on my gown. But a recent article in The Boston Herald was a wake-up call that I left myself wide open for some sort of fraud. I've also heard of wedding photographers who collect the cash and never deliver the photos.

While the Internet is a great source for undiscovered vendors who may provide more reasonable prices, beware that you don't get taken for a ride. Ask everyone for references. Check to see if there are complaints against the company by googling their names and contacting the Better Business Bureau. If you're still not sure, pay a little extra and go with someone a friend used and was happy with.

You may have noticed that I've been out of the blogosphere this week. I'm not neglecting you my faithful readers (mom); it's been a crazy week in the lives of Ed and Donna.

First up, Ed and I bought a house last week. Yippee! Of course, that means packing, moving, cleaning, yardwork, etc. We lived in an apartment before -- which can be kind of like living with your parents -- the grass gets mowed, but you have no idea how it happens.

So this is our first house. At least, we think we own it. We signed a lot of paperwork, but someone else is still living there. They're hanging out while they're waiting for their house to open up. And so a butterfly flaps its wings . . .

On top of that, I've been named the new Encore editor here at The Telegraph. Yippee! So I started that job this week. So in between, packing and learning a new job, I haven't had much time to plan my wedding . . . or blog about how I haven't had much time to plan my wedding.

Anyhow, in wedding world, things are still moving forward. Ed and I are trying to nail down a place to have our reception dinner and, because it's a destination wedding of sorts, we're inviting all of our guests who will be in town the night before the wedding to the rehearsal dinner. So we're having a hard time finding a place that can fit such a large party without it actually being a full-on function. As a result, we can't order invitations, since we're announcing the rehearsal dinner along with the reception in said invitations.

Hopefully, all will get sorted out next week. I'll keep you updated (mom) and I promise, I'll be blogging more next week . . . at least I hope so.

Enjoy you weekend with some wedding fun!

Since people are getting married later and often set up housekeeping for the big day, china is falling by the wayside as brides register for what they really want.

It's a tough call. Some couples are registering for down payments on houses and honeymoons instead of at department stores. That can leave some people feeling just as if they were asked to give money. Other relatives may feel happy to give you something they know you want.

Ed and I didn't register at all. We have lived together for two years and we pretty much have everything we need in the kitchen and we're out of room. Fancy china may be nice, but not so much if it's in a storage container.

Most experts agree not registering is bad form because you leave your guests wondering what to get, so I wouldn't suggest that you follow my lead. But the thought of having to choose colors and patterns on a bunch of things I didn't really want in the first place was too depressing.

However, if you are trying to decide where to register, you might want to consider the things that are really important to you. If you and your groom need things to set up house together, then a traditional registry should work just fine. If you'd rather see the money go to a honeymoon, you may risk offending older relatives with this new trend. You might want to consider registering at two places and make one of them a traditional department store with just a few items listed for those who are uncomfortable helping you pay for your honeymoon.

Part of the problem is if your guests are offended by being asked to contribute to a honeymoon, chances are you'll be the last to know. Even the etiquette experts are divided on what's genteel bridal behavior.

If you're looking to cut costs, start with the wedding favors. Often, they are lost or thrown out before your guests even get home, so if you're going to cut corners, favors are definitely the place to do it.

Ed and I are skipping wedding favors altogether. I figured out if I cut wedding favors, with the money I save, I can add another choice to the appetizers. I had a friend who gave out Hershey bars at her wedding. And one of Ed's nieces made a donation in the name of all her guests to an environmental group and simply placed frames with a notice on each table. The I Do Foundation can help link you up with charities and print cards to give to your guests wedding favors.

So you've got lots of options. And even if you decide to go with more traditional favors, you don't need to spend a lot of cash. Online sites, like Truly Wedding Favors, Favor Ideas and Unique Wedding Favors off up creative ideas for as little as $1-$2 per person. Take a look. Run your mouse over the images to read the comments.

Okay, I admit I'm not the most tech-savvy being on the planet. Quite often, if I want to watch a DVD, Ed's kids turn the machine on, load it and get me all set up. Then, after ordering me not to touch anything, they'll go off and do their thing, returning when the movie is over to shut everything down. Actually, Ed prefers I don't touch any electronics in the house.

Yet, The Telegraph has -- with blind trust -- given me a computer and a blog so I can tell you about my wedding. And I'm sure you want to tell people about yours.

Well, as luck would have it, you can actually build your own wedding Web site. Domain names can be purchased from GoDaddy for as little as $10, or you can use Yahoo's site builder. Assuming you're not going to hire a Web site designer (which I would discourage, since this is simply to get the word out and a designer can be expensive) you can hop onto eWedding which will help you build a Web site for free.

Another option is to simply write a blog. Visit Blogger, and you can have a blog up and running in minutes. You can include stories of how you met, an image of your wedding invite and links to your registry.

But a Web site definitely has a bit more polish. Simply decide on the level of detail you want to include -- I'd recommend including the basic details of the wedding, links to your registry, any wedding-related parties or events and the story of how you met your fiance. And, of course, some photos to jazz things up. If you have children or are marrying someone with children, including them in the building of the Web site can be a fun, cost-effective way to bring them into the planning process.

Also, don't forget to tell everyone about your site. If you're sending out save the date cards, put your Web address on there. E-mail friends and family with a link to your site. After all, a Web site is only good if people go to it.

Now go to it! If you have a wedding Web site, post a link here in the comments. I'd love to check it out . . . just as soon as Ed's kids come for a visit ;)

She's creating a Web site full of bridal advice that can be had for free. Even if you're not likely to walk down the aisle in a Vera Wang gown, you can use some of her experience to make your day a little smoother.

The Web site isn't up yet, but you can register, and they will e-mail you when it's ready. In the meantime, you can check out some of Vera's advice.

Planning your wedding and looking for great advice? Check out The Wedding Podcast Network.

There's a ton of information, and you can get wedding advice when it works for you. You can download wisdom from wedding professionals, get workouts, learn how to manage the moms during your wedding planning, get industry news and get relationship advice. The site also includes interviews with newlyweds who have survived a wedding intact.

Give it a listen.

Ed and I met with another minister this weekend. This time, she really was a minister, so I was happy. And Ed . . . well, he was just happy he didn't have to look for another minister.

Rev. Maryanne McPherson is an interfaith minister, who has studied many of the world's religions. She seemed passionate about bringing spirituality into the wedding and willing to allow Ed and I to write our own wedding vows.

Ed and I plan to have a short welcome, a friend read something of his choosing, a blessing of the rings and our own wedding vows. We then plan to bring his children up for a family commitment ceremony followed by a sand ceremony.

Then we'll be married. By a minister. Yay!

But flats aren't fun. I've enlisted our Fashion Cents blogger's help and we're still looking. But poor Vanessa either hates what I pick out or patiently points out that the stilts I'm eyeballing are completely impractical. Here are a couple of my latest choices. The all come from Zappos, a great online shoe store. Run your arrow over the shoe to get my comments. Write in and let me know what you think.

Okay, not quite. But I'm working on it.

Ed and I actually went to our local Paper Store to look at wedding invitations. It only took about a half hour, actually. Invitations aren't something we felt we needed to spend hours of time on. Besides, it was dinnertime and Ed was hungry. We found simple, white invitations with Celtic knots and called it a day.

If you want to cut costs on the invitations, your local stationary story or an online ordering service can often provide nice invitations at a nice price. However, you will lack the one-on-one attention and guidance that a printer will give you. You'll also lack expert advice. For example: No punctuation should be used in a wedding invitation; don't abbreviate; and if you don't want children to attend, address the invitation to parents only, rather than saying "no children." Printers will tell you that.

But a little online research can help you brush up on your invitation etiquette.

Also there are a lot of fun trends in the works right now. Want to make your invitations stand out? Consider non-traditional shapes, such as squares; monograms; bright colors (I've seen some in the popular clothing combination of pink and brown); tie it all up with a ribbon or consider a pocket folder to organize all the information.

This isn't out exact invitation - ours will have blue ink and silver-lined envelopes, but the idea is the same.

While any bride can gather up a slew of wedding movies featuring bridezillas and nutty families, there's a new one filming in Boston.

Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway will star in "Bride Wars," the story of two friends who decide to get married on the same day. Rather than work it out, wedding planning becomes intense, cutthroat competition for the biggest, best, most luxurious wedding.

The event has been covered by the Boston Herald, The Boston Globe, the Patriot Ledger and BostonNOW.

At least this is one movie that promises both a few familiar landmarks and the opportunity to say, " I know I'm not that bad."

Check out the video of locals trying to snag a role as an extra.

Check out My Parents on Their Wedding Day. You can read stories people have posted of their parents' wedding days -- some are wonderful, some are heartbreaking.

And if you have a story of your own to post, mailto:myparentsontheirweddingday@gmail.com.

So I think we’ve found a minister at long last.

Ed’s been in charge of finding someone to marry us, so we sat down and came up with a list of what we wanted. First of all, we needed someone who would marry a couple where one partner is divorced. Since we were both brought up Catholic, that pretty much ruled out our families’ religion, which disappoints Ed’s mom to no end.

But we did decide to look for a minister. Armed with that knowledge, Ed hit the Internet.

Anyway, he hooked up with Connie, who said she’d be happy to marry us.

Ed set up the meeting, and we drove to Maine to meet with Connie in a coffee shop. We walked in and notices a blond woman with large glasses, dressed in a sweater in a long skirt, reading quietly in the corner. Connie.

We began making our way across the coffee shop, and I accidentally bumped into a woman. Muttering, “Excuse me,” I took in her frosted blond hair, low-cut tank top and frosted blue eye shadow.

She smiled and extended her hand. “Hi, I’m Connie. You must be Donna and Ed. Why don’t we sit down and discuss your wedding.”

I tried not to stare. I really did. But I was the seat next to her, and I could see right down her tank top. I’ve never been good at not staring. I began to check out the sun damage on her chest while she discussed wedding option.

When I could finally tear myself away, I asked her what faith she was a minister of. She smiled brightly, “I’m not a minister. I’m a justice of the peace.”

My eyes slid over to Ed. We had specifically discussed not being married by a justice of the peace. Hey, when you’re getting married, you need all the God you can get.

He looked innocently back at me. “Is that a problem for you?” he asked.

Hell yeah! My eyes traveled back to Connie’s breasts. She was sitting right there, and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings . . .

“No. It’s fine.” I smiled brightly.

I never smile brightly. I looked like I had a muscle spasm in my face.

The rest of the conversation passed in a blur. We got out to the car and I looked at Ed.

“I though we agreed on a minister.”

“It’s not a deal-breaker for me,” he said casually. “Is it a deal-breaker for you?”

“Ummm . . . yeah, kinda.” I said piteously, “I thought we agreed on a minister. Did something change?”

I found out what changed. Ed thought Connie was a minister when he booked her. Finding out she was a justice of the peace, he decided the course of least resistance was to just be happy with a justice of the peace.

I decided the course of least resistance – my resistance – was to have Ed start over again. It is, after all, the person who will marry us. He chose an inter-faith minister. I’m not really sure what that is, but based on her Web site, it seems as though she combines all faiths for a meaningful wedding.

I like the idea of bringing the best of all faiths into one spiritual, romantic ceremony that will bless our marriage.

Check out the seven worst wedding toasts!

There's the TMI toast, the unsupportive toast and the drunken toast. See what can go wrong and how to perform toast control.

A party after the party? It's becoming perfectly acceptable to have a "happily ever after" party after your wedding reception.

Some couples opt to continue the time spent with family and friends with a party after the wedding at a parent's home. Others opt to go for a smaller wedding then later host a party at their home for all of those who couldn't be invited to the wedding.

Either way, these affairs are usually casual -- a barbecue or appetizers -- a place for people to have a snack, a drink and to keep the party going. They don't need to be expensive or extravagant, and they're a great opportunity to reflect the couple's personality. Do a beach theme, a barbecue or a pool party.

Either way, if your after-party costs as much as the reception, you're on the wrong track. This can be a great way to save some money on your reception and still have many relatives and friends celebrating with you. It's also a good choice for someone who prefers a smaller, more intimate wedding but doesn't want to leave anyone out of the celebration.

Since Ed and I are planning to have our reception in an Irish pub, which is having a live band that night, we're relying on word of mouth to let people know that when the reception ends at 9 p.m., everyone is welcome to stay and keep going. We figure we'll have the DJ make an announcement at the end of the wedding.

If you're planning on having a happily-ever-after party when you return from your honeymoon, plan to send invitations out a month or two before the party, much like you will with the wedding invitations. Explain that it's a casual affair and no gifts are required.

If you're having an after-party right after your reception, but in a different location, you might want to think about including a card announcing the party in with your wedding invitation.

Since I know you've been waiting anxiously all weekend, here's the follow-up to the story of our friend who swallowed his wedding ring.

I'll give you a hint as to how things turned out: "I returned home from the hospital a few hours ago. It was a minor procedure."

For a little light weekend reading, check out the blog post of the man who swallowed his own wedding ring. Right now, he's waiting for it to come out the other side. Will it? Won't it? Only time will tell.

Even better is his wife's reaction: “You are so absent minded! You forget to turn off the heat, to feed the cat and now you swallow your wedding ring!! When are you going to get it together- you need to wake up!!!”

Sadly, I can see myself in this situation.

When you're planning your wedding, the Web can be your best friend. Certainly a better friend than all the people -- me included -- that keep trying to give you advice.

Not only can the Web link you to chat rooms filled with fellow sufferers, which provide a forum for you to kvetch about how much your fiance/mother/sister/bridesmaid/dog sucks, it can provide you with a money-saving bonanza.

So says a writer from Beverly, Mass., who authored "I Do," which gives you a bunch of ways to save a little cash and uses the Internet a whole bunch.

One of the most valuable things the Internet can do is provide you with the ability to search far and wide for the best price. For example, I ordered my Save the Date cards from Wisconsin. A woman designing out of her home could offer me a much better deal, even with shipping costs, than more established stationary stores. The best part? I didn't have to make a bunch of phone calls to get prices.

I also found the Internet was a great place to find reception venues that were a little offbeat. Ed and I are getting married in an Irish pub in Portland, Maine. A year ago, I didn't even know such a place existed.

A year ago, I was a quivering mass of jelly hiding in my closet, trying to avoid the idea that all reception venues were boring, traditional and $100 a plate. Don't get me wrong, it took a lot of time and research to come up with the perfect place -- about five months -- but it was definitely made easier by the fact that I could get pictures of venues online and download menu and pricing options. I could also go further afield, finding venues not listed in the local telephone book.

The same goes for my dressmaker. It took about a month, but I was eventually -- again through Google -- able to find a great seamstress at a reasonable price. If left to the phone book, I probably would have spent $2,000 more for my wedding dress.

So don't be afraid to use the Internet. While nothing beats meeting your caterer in person, and I definitely recommend you do so before signing on the dotted line, you can often hook up with someone you otherwise wouldn't have found.

Mashable social networking site offers 30 great sites to help you plan your wedding. Some of their top choices:

OffbeatBride.com - Find unique ideas.

WikiWeddings.org - A Wikipedia of all things wedding.

MapYourWedding.com - The Telegraph's very own, very local wedding site. Okay, so it's not listed, but check it out!

The flakes fell hard and heavy Saturday morning, but my bridal party still hauled themselves from Worcester, the South Shore of Massachusetts and Sunapee, N.H., to Londonderry to get their dresses for the wedding.

Surprisingly, we had a blast. The bridesmaids opted to have their dresses made rather than buy them, so they're going to my dressmaker at Sew Special Designs. Rather than trying to make everyone squeeze into the same gown, we picked a color and a fabric. Then, each bridesmaid designed her own dress. Two of my bridemaids who have been friends for 20 years designed the same dresses -- independently of each other.

The same fabric, color and length will unify the bridal party, while each of my friends gets the chance to express her individuality by designing her own dress. Even better, each bridemaid can cover up anything she thinks of as a trouble spot, without trying to find the one dress that makes arms and legs look thin, busts look perky and tummies disappear. Even worse, Ed's daughters are in ridiculously good shape (they're 13 and 16). We just can't compete.

The bridemaids opted for a dark blue, while Molly and Emily as the maids of honor and because they are only 13 and 16, will wear a very light blue. And since everyone felt comfortable with the dressmaker -- who is fabulously down-to-earth and wonderful to work with -- everyone had a good time and was able to relax and enjoy the experience.

Also in dress news, if you're expecting and about to get married, several maternity stores are offering up bridal gowns now. Check out A Pea in the Pod, Mimi Maternity, Motherhood Maternity and Destination Maternity. Just search for wedding and you'll find stylish wedding gowns that fit your baby bump. And many of them are just a few hundred dollars.

Ed and I spent last weeking stuffing ourselves with wedding cake. Swiss buttercream, rolled buttercream, vanilla, chocolate, raspberry -- you get the point.

Anyway, we've finally decided on a cake place -- Edible Delights Cakes. The cake is good and they'll give us a whimsical cakes. And (always important) we kept the price down. A couple of interesting tips if you're ever in the market for a wedding cake:

- Order a small wedding cake. The rest of your guests can be fed with a "kitchen cake," a large sheet cake that can be made for much less than a wedding cake.

- If you're getting married in a city, check outlying areas. Sometimes, city bakers are more expensive.

- Don't get fooled by "free" delivery. For example, our cake will come from Old Orchard Beach, Maine. The delivery charge will be $25 and the cake will be $425. The Portland bakeries offered free delivery but charged $650 for a cake.

- You get as much free cake as you can stand -- Eat up!

 For an image of our wedding cake, click here.

I admit it: I'm not a detail person when it comes to my own wedding. I'll notice two things on the big day whether (1) My behind looks big in my dress and (2) Ed shows up.

Beyond that, I'm not one for the little things. But there are a lot of nifty, little touches you can add if you've got the time, patience and extra cash. For example, take the matter of postage.

The U.S. Post Office offers the opportunity to create your own stamps. Pictures of you and the groom, hearts, flowers; you name it, you can do it. The USPS Web site gives the names of companies willing to design the stamps for your. Or check out Perfect Postage, which will custom design your stamps according to your specifications.

But be warned: These stamps will cost you more. Designs at Perfect Postage cost can cost as much at $18.95 for one sheet (20 stamps) of large stamps. For 41 cents each, you can buy heart stamps at the post office. So before you spend the money to dress up your invitations, make sure all the necessities are taken care of.