You may have noticed that I've been out of the blogosphere this week. I'm not neglecting you my faithful readers (mom); it's been a crazy week in the lives of Ed and Donna.

First up, Ed and I bought a house last week. Yippee! Of course, that means packing, moving, cleaning, yardwork, etc. We lived in an apartment before -- which can be kind of like living with your parents -- the grass gets mowed, but you have no idea how it happens.

So this is our first house. At least, we think we own it. We signed a lot of paperwork, but someone else is still living there. They're hanging out while they're waiting for their house to open up. And so a butterfly flaps its wings . . .

On top of that, I've been named the new Encore editor here at The Telegraph. Yippee! So I started that job this week. So in between, packing and learning a new job, I haven't had much time to plan my wedding . . . or blog about how I haven't had much time to plan my wedding.

Anyhow, in wedding world, things are still moving forward. Ed and I are trying to nail down a place to have our reception dinner and, because it's a destination wedding of sorts, we're inviting all of our guests who will be in town the night before the wedding to the rehearsal dinner. So we're having a hard time finding a place that can fit such a large party without it actually being a full-on function. As a result, we can't order invitations, since we're announcing the rehearsal dinner along with the reception in said invitations.

Hopefully, all will get sorted out next week. I'll keep you updated (mom) and I promise, I'll be blogging more next week . . . at least I hope so.

Enjoy you weekend with some wedding fun!

Since people are getting married later and often set up housekeeping for the big day, china is falling by the wayside as brides register for what they really want.

It's a tough call. Some couples are registering for down payments on houses and honeymoons instead of at department stores. That can leave some people feeling just as if they were asked to give money. Other relatives may feel happy to give you something they know you want.

Ed and I didn't register at all. We have lived together for two years and we pretty much have everything we need in the kitchen and we're out of room. Fancy china may be nice, but not so much if it's in a storage container.

Most experts agree not registering is bad form because you leave your guests wondering what to get, so I wouldn't suggest that you follow my lead. But the thought of having to choose colors and patterns on a bunch of things I didn't really want in the first place was too depressing.

However, if you are trying to decide where to register, you might want to consider the things that are really important to you. If you and your groom need things to set up house together, then a traditional registry should work just fine. If you'd rather see the money go to a honeymoon, you may risk offending older relatives with this new trend. You might want to consider registering at two places and make one of them a traditional department store with just a few items listed for those who are uncomfortable helping you pay for your honeymoon.

Part of the problem is if your guests are offended by being asked to contribute to a honeymoon, chances are you'll be the last to know. Even the etiquette experts are divided on what's genteel bridal behavior.

If you're looking to cut costs, start with the wedding favors. Often, they are lost or thrown out before your guests even get home, so if you're going to cut corners, favors are definitely the place to do it.

Ed and I are skipping wedding favors altogether. I figured out if I cut wedding favors, with the money I save, I can add another choice to the appetizers. I had a friend who gave out Hershey bars at her wedding. And one of Ed's nieces made a donation in the name of all her guests to an environmental group and simply placed frames with a notice on each table. The I Do Foundation can help link you up with charities and print cards to give to your guests wedding favors.

So you've got lots of options. And even if you decide to go with more traditional favors, you don't need to spend a lot of cash. Online sites, like Truly Wedding Favors, Favor Ideas and Unique Wedding Favors off up creative ideas for as little as $1-$2 per person. Take a look. Run your mouse over the images to read the comments.

Okay, I admit I'm not the most tech-savvy being on the planet. Quite often, if I want to watch a DVD, Ed's kids turn the machine on, load it and get me all set up. Then, after ordering me not to touch anything, they'll go off and do their thing, returning when the movie is over to shut everything down. Actually, Ed prefers I don't touch any electronics in the house.

Yet, The Telegraph has -- with blind trust -- given me a computer and a blog so I can tell you about my wedding. And I'm sure you want to tell people about yours.

Well, as luck would have it, you can actually build your own wedding Web site. Domain names can be purchased from GoDaddy for as little as $10, or you can use Yahoo's site builder. Assuming you're not going to hire a Web site designer (which I would discourage, since this is simply to get the word out and a designer can be expensive) you can hop onto eWedding which will help you build a Web site for free.

Another option is to simply write a blog. Visit Blogger, and you can have a blog up and running in minutes. You can include stories of how you met, an image of your wedding invite and links to your registry.

But a Web site definitely has a bit more polish. Simply decide on the level of detail you want to include -- I'd recommend including the basic details of the wedding, links to your registry, any wedding-related parties or events and the story of how you met your fiance. And, of course, some photos to jazz things up. If you have children or are marrying someone with children, including them in the building of the Web site can be a fun, cost-effective way to bring them into the planning process.

Also, don't forget to tell everyone about your site. If you're sending out save the date cards, put your Web address on there. E-mail friends and family with a link to your site. After all, a Web site is only good if people go to it.

Now go to it! If you have a wedding Web site, post a link here in the comments. I'd love to check it out . . . just as soon as Ed's kids come for a visit ;)

She's creating a Web site full of bridal advice that can be had for free. Even if you're not likely to walk down the aisle in a Vera Wang gown, you can use some of her experience to make your day a little smoother.

The Web site isn't up yet, but you can register, and they will e-mail you when it's ready. In the meantime, you can check out some of Vera's advice.

Planning your wedding and looking for great advice? Check out The Wedding Podcast Network.

There's a ton of information, and you can get wedding advice when it works for you. You can download wisdom from wedding professionals, get workouts, learn how to manage the moms during your wedding planning, get industry news and get relationship advice. The site also includes interviews with newlyweds who have survived a wedding intact.

Give it a listen.

Ed and I met with another minister this weekend. This time, she really was a minister, so I was happy. And Ed . . . well, he was just happy he didn't have to look for another minister.

Rev. Maryanne McPherson is an interfaith minister, who has studied many of the world's religions. She seemed passionate about bringing spirituality into the wedding and willing to allow Ed and I to write our own wedding vows.

Ed and I plan to have a short welcome, a friend read something of his choosing, a blessing of the rings and our own wedding vows. We then plan to bring his children up for a family commitment ceremony followed by a sand ceremony.

Then we'll be married. By a minister. Yay!

But flats aren't fun. I've enlisted our Fashion Cents blogger's help and we're still looking. But poor Vanessa either hates what I pick out or patiently points out that the stilts I'm eyeballing are completely impractical. Here are a couple of my latest choices. The all come from Zappos, a great online shoe store. Run your arrow over the shoe to get my comments. Write in and let me know what you think.

Okay, not quite. But I'm working on it.

Ed and I actually went to our local Paper Store to look at wedding invitations. It only took about a half hour, actually. Invitations aren't something we felt we needed to spend hours of time on. Besides, it was dinnertime and Ed was hungry. We found simple, white invitations with Celtic knots and called it a day.

If you want to cut costs on the invitations, your local stationary story or an online ordering service can often provide nice invitations at a nice price. However, you will lack the one-on-one attention and guidance that a printer will give you. You'll also lack expert advice. For example: No punctuation should be used in a wedding invitation; don't abbreviate; and if you don't want children to attend, address the invitation to parents only, rather than saying "no children." Printers will tell you that.

But a little online research can help you brush up on your invitation etiquette.

Also there are a lot of fun trends in the works right now. Want to make your invitations stand out? Consider non-traditional shapes, such as squares; monograms; bright colors (I've seen some in the popular clothing combination of pink and brown); tie it all up with a ribbon or consider a pocket folder to organize all the information.

This isn't out exact invitation - ours will have blue ink and silver-lined envelopes, but the idea is the same.

While any bride can gather up a slew of wedding movies featuring bridezillas and nutty families, there's a new one filming in Boston.

Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway will star in "Bride Wars," the story of two friends who decide to get married on the same day. Rather than work it out, wedding planning becomes intense, cutthroat competition for the biggest, best, most luxurious wedding.

The event has been covered by the Boston Herald, The Boston Globe, the Patriot Ledger and BostonNOW.

At least this is one movie that promises both a few familiar landmarks and the opportunity to say, " I know I'm not that bad."

Check out the video of locals trying to snag a role as an extra.

Check out My Parents on Their Wedding Day. You can read stories people have posted of their parents' wedding days -- some are wonderful, some are heartbreaking.

And if you have a story of your own to post, mailto:myparentsontheirweddingday@gmail.com.

So I think we’ve found a minister at long last.

Ed’s been in charge of finding someone to marry us, so we sat down and came up with a list of what we wanted. First of all, we needed someone who would marry a couple where one partner is divorced. Since we were both brought up Catholic, that pretty much ruled out our families’ religion, which disappoints Ed’s mom to no end.

But we did decide to look for a minister. Armed with that knowledge, Ed hit the Internet.

Anyway, he hooked up with Connie, who said she’d be happy to marry us.

Ed set up the meeting, and we drove to Maine to meet with Connie in a coffee shop. We walked in and notices a blond woman with large glasses, dressed in a sweater in a long skirt, reading quietly in the corner. Connie.

We began making our way across the coffee shop, and I accidentally bumped into a woman. Muttering, “Excuse me,” I took in her frosted blond hair, low-cut tank top and frosted blue eye shadow.

She smiled and extended her hand. “Hi, I’m Connie. You must be Donna and Ed. Why don’t we sit down and discuss your wedding.”

I tried not to stare. I really did. But I was the seat next to her, and I could see right down her tank top. I’ve never been good at not staring. I began to check out the sun damage on her chest while she discussed wedding option.

When I could finally tear myself away, I asked her what faith she was a minister of. She smiled brightly, “I’m not a minister. I’m a justice of the peace.”

My eyes slid over to Ed. We had specifically discussed not being married by a justice of the peace. Hey, when you’re getting married, you need all the God you can get.

He looked innocently back at me. “Is that a problem for you?” he asked.

Hell yeah! My eyes traveled back to Connie’s breasts. She was sitting right there, and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings . . .

“No. It’s fine.” I smiled brightly.

I never smile brightly. I looked like I had a muscle spasm in my face.

The rest of the conversation passed in a blur. We got out to the car and I looked at Ed.

“I though we agreed on a minister.”

“It’s not a deal-breaker for me,” he said casually. “Is it a deal-breaker for you?”

“Ummm . . . yeah, kinda.” I said piteously, “I thought we agreed on a minister. Did something change?”

I found out what changed. Ed thought Connie was a minister when he booked her. Finding out she was a justice of the peace, he decided the course of least resistance was to just be happy with a justice of the peace.

I decided the course of least resistance – my resistance – was to have Ed start over again. It is, after all, the person who will marry us. He chose an inter-faith minister. I’m not really sure what that is, but based on her Web site, it seems as though she combines all faiths for a meaningful wedding.

I like the idea of bringing the best of all faiths into one spiritual, romantic ceremony that will bless our marriage.

Check out the seven worst wedding toasts!

There's the TMI toast, the unsupportive toast and the drunken toast. See what can go wrong and how to perform toast control.

A party after the party? It's becoming perfectly acceptable to have a "happily ever after" party after your wedding reception.

Some couples opt to continue the time spent with family and friends with a party after the wedding at a parent's home. Others opt to go for a smaller wedding then later host a party at their home for all of those who couldn't be invited to the wedding.

Either way, these affairs are usually casual -- a barbecue or appetizers -- a place for people to have a snack, a drink and to keep the party going. They don't need to be expensive or extravagant, and they're a great opportunity to reflect the couple's personality. Do a beach theme, a barbecue or a pool party.

Either way, if your after-party costs as much as the reception, you're on the wrong track. This can be a great way to save some money on your reception and still have many relatives and friends celebrating with you. It's also a good choice for someone who prefers a smaller, more intimate wedding but doesn't want to leave anyone out of the celebration.

Since Ed and I are planning to have our reception in an Irish pub, which is having a live band that night, we're relying on word of mouth to let people know that when the reception ends at 9 p.m., everyone is welcome to stay and keep going. We figure we'll have the DJ make an announcement at the end of the wedding.

If you're planning on having a happily-ever-after party when you return from your honeymoon, plan to send invitations out a month or two before the party, much like you will with the wedding invitations. Explain that it's a casual affair and no gifts are required.

If you're having an after-party right after your reception, but in a different location, you might want to think about including a card announcing the party in with your wedding invitation.

Since I know you've been waiting anxiously all weekend, here's the follow-up to the story of our friend who swallowed his wedding ring.

I'll give you a hint as to how things turned out: "I returned home from the hospital a few hours ago. It was a minor procedure."

For a little light weekend reading, check out the blog post of the man who swallowed his own wedding ring. Right now, he's waiting for it to come out the other side. Will it? Won't it? Only time will tell.

Even better is his wife's reaction: “You are so absent minded! You forget to turn off the heat, to feed the cat and now you swallow your wedding ring!! When are you going to get it together- you need to wake up!!!”

Sadly, I can see myself in this situation.

When you're planning your wedding, the Web can be your best friend. Certainly a better friend than all the people -- me included -- that keep trying to give you advice.

Not only can the Web link you to chat rooms filled with fellow sufferers, which provide a forum for you to kvetch about how much your fiance/mother/sister/bridesmaid/dog sucks, it can provide you with a money-saving bonanza.

So says a writer from Beverly, Mass., who authored "I Do," which gives you a bunch of ways to save a little cash and uses the Internet a whole bunch.

One of the most valuable things the Internet can do is provide you with the ability to search far and wide for the best price. For example, I ordered my Save the Date cards from Wisconsin. A woman designing out of her home could offer me a much better deal, even with shipping costs, than more established stationary stores. The best part? I didn't have to make a bunch of phone calls to get prices.

I also found the Internet was a great place to find reception venues that were a little offbeat. Ed and I are getting married in an Irish pub in Portland, Maine. A year ago, I didn't even know such a place existed.

A year ago, I was a quivering mass of jelly hiding in my closet, trying to avoid the idea that all reception venues were boring, traditional and $100 a plate. Don't get me wrong, it took a lot of time and research to come up with the perfect place -- about five months -- but it was definitely made easier by the fact that I could get pictures of venues online and download menu and pricing options. I could also go further afield, finding venues not listed in the local telephone book.

The same goes for my dressmaker. It took about a month, but I was eventually -- again through Google -- able to find a great seamstress at a reasonable price. If left to the phone book, I probably would have spent $2,000 more for my wedding dress.

So don't be afraid to use the Internet. While nothing beats meeting your caterer in person, and I definitely recommend you do so before signing on the dotted line, you can often hook up with someone you otherwise wouldn't have found.

Mashable social networking site offers 30 great sites to help you plan your wedding. Some of their top choices:

OffbeatBride.com - Find unique ideas.

WikiWeddings.org - A Wikipedia of all things wedding.

MapYourWedding.com - The Telegraph's very own, very local wedding site. Okay, so it's not listed, but check it out!

The flakes fell hard and heavy Saturday morning, but my bridal party still hauled themselves from Worcester, the South Shore of Massachusetts and Sunapee, N.H., to Londonderry to get their dresses for the wedding.

Surprisingly, we had a blast. The bridesmaids opted to have their dresses made rather than buy them, so they're going to my dressmaker at Sew Special Designs. Rather than trying to make everyone squeeze into the same gown, we picked a color and a fabric. Then, each bridesmaid designed her own dress. Two of my bridemaids who have been friends for 20 years designed the same dresses -- independently of each other.

The same fabric, color and length will unify the bridal party, while each of my friends gets the chance to express her individuality by designing her own dress. Even better, each bridemaid can cover up anything she thinks of as a trouble spot, without trying to find the one dress that makes arms and legs look thin, busts look perky and tummies disappear. Even worse, Ed's daughters are in ridiculously good shape (they're 13 and 16). We just can't compete.

The bridemaids opted for a dark blue, while Molly and Emily as the maids of honor and because they are only 13 and 16, will wear a very light blue. And since everyone felt comfortable with the dressmaker -- who is fabulously down-to-earth and wonderful to work with -- everyone had a good time and was able to relax and enjoy the experience.

Also in dress news, if you're expecting and about to get married, several maternity stores are offering up bridal gowns now. Check out A Pea in the Pod, Mimi Maternity, Motherhood Maternity and Destination Maternity. Just search for wedding and you'll find stylish wedding gowns that fit your baby bump. And many of them are just a few hundred dollars.

Ed and I spent last weeking stuffing ourselves with wedding cake. Swiss buttercream, rolled buttercream, vanilla, chocolate, raspberry -- you get the point.

Anyway, we've finally decided on a cake place -- Edible Delights Cakes. The cake is good and they'll give us a whimsical cakes. And (always important) we kept the price down. A couple of interesting tips if you're ever in the market for a wedding cake:

- Order a small wedding cake. The rest of your guests can be fed with a "kitchen cake," a large sheet cake that can be made for much less than a wedding cake.

- If you're getting married in a city, check outlying areas. Sometimes, city bakers are more expensive.

- Don't get fooled by "free" delivery. For example, our cake will come from Old Orchard Beach, Maine. The delivery charge will be $25 and the cake will be $425. The Portland bakeries offered free delivery but charged $650 for a cake.

- You get as much free cake as you can stand -- Eat up!

 For an image of our wedding cake, click here.

I admit it: I'm not a detail person when it comes to my own wedding. I'll notice two things on the big day whether (1) My behind looks big in my dress and (2) Ed shows up.

Beyond that, I'm not one for the little things. But there are a lot of nifty, little touches you can add if you've got the time, patience and extra cash. For example, take the matter of postage.

The U.S. Post Office offers the opportunity to create your own stamps. Pictures of you and the groom, hearts, flowers; you name it, you can do it. The USPS Web site gives the names of companies willing to design the stamps for your. Or check out Perfect Postage, which will custom design your stamps according to your specifications.

But be warned: These stamps will cost you more. Designs at Perfect Postage cost can cost as much at $18.95 for one sheet (20 stamps) of large stamps. For 41 cents each, you can buy heart stamps at the post office. So before you spend the money to dress up your invitations, make sure all the necessities are taken care of.

If you're looking for an all-in-one make-up kit for your wedding day, check out Bobbi Brown's bridal kit.

Even if you're not interested in purchasing the make-up, check out her tips for looking good on your wedding day and in your wedding photos. For example, red shows up heavily in photos, so brides want to even out their skin tone. She also recommends a little bronzer on your chest if you've got a low-cut dress.

There's also some more practical tips that you can put into practice long before the wedding, such as eating plenty of veggies and drinking lots of water to ensure your skin glows.

While you're cruising the Internet today, watch our video of the Running of the Brides at Filene's annual event in Boston.

Also, check out MSN's proposal stories for a little fun.

First off, let me tell you that if you're looking for a destination wedding of sorts -- far enough away to feel the adventure of travel and close enough to allow guests to head home -- check out Maine. I'm planning a Portland, Maine wedding, but Maine's Mid-Coast region offers up some picturesque spots as well. Check out the Mid-Coast Wedding Expo this Sunday at Samoset Resort in Rockport, Maine.

So you're looking at your guest list and, perhaps you wonder, whether you should invite the littlest members of your family. You know it's a big issue for brides when the New York Times is covering it, as they did Sunday.

The article does a great job of covering both sides of the issue: casual vs. formal weddings; crying children vs. a fun, family feel; adorable photos vs. the potential of losing your  moment in the spotlight; the possibility of offending friends, no matter which way you go.

Even better are the reader comments, arguing for or against children at weddings. There's definitely food for thought there, including one, very succinct response: "No."

Since Ed has three children, the subject really wasn't up for debate. His son is his best man, and his two daughters are my maids of honor.

But we did make some effort to reign it in along the way. We're only inviting children that are related to us -- and not even all of them. We stopped at nieces and nephews, in part because most of them are older and know how to behave, in part because including all of the children in our family would have required renting Gillette stadium for the reception.

As a compromise, the Irish pub where we're planning the reception requires all kids younger than 21 be off the premises at 9 p.m. While our reception ends at that time, a live band is playing at the pub that Saturday night, and many guests (and the bride and groom) are planning on hanging out and continuing the party. So adults-only time has been scheduled into the wedding day along with time for children.

Either way, one thing to be aware of, if you don't see your child's name -- or "and family" -- on the invitation, leave the kids at home. It's proper etiquette.

There's a really interesting article in Newsweek about "The Incredible Shrinking Bride."

Pressure on the wedding is such that most women, even those who are at a normal weight, feel they need to lose weight for their weddings, spend a fortune to have their nails and hair professionally done and get the star treatment for their walk down the aisle. One woman even told how she planned to have facials each month until her wedding and consulted a dermatologist about antibiotic treatments for her acne.

While there's nothing wrong with self-improvement, I feel like any changes you make should be a long-term goal, something you've always wanted to achieve. Let the wedding add the motivation, not the desire.

I, for example, have been dieting for my wedding. But it's not a sudden thing. I've been thinking about losing weight and eating healthier for months (okay, years), certainly long before Ed proposed. The wedding just helped me structure myself. Now, not only do I have a definite goal (the weight loss), I have a time frame (September) and a motivation (looking hot in a wedding dress).

One British publication featured a bride who lost about a third of herself for the wedding, but her diet still isn't fabulous. Sure, she's eating less, but I still don't see many veggies on the menu.

I'm eating healthier and exercising more. And if I don't reach my goal before my wedding, I will see it through to the end. Besides, Ed asked me to marry him as I am, so I'll have to go with the belief that he's pretty okay with me, cellulite and all. In fact, he thinks I'm beautiful, and I have no intention of disabusing him of the notion.

Don't sweat it. You want to take a crack at creating a better you for your wedding, have at it. But if you're only halfway there on your wedding day, don't let it ruin the experience. Hopefully, you'll only be doing this once.

We all want great advice on how to plan a wedding, if we could only duck the people whose "advice" is merely to imitate what they did.

Check out this article. It offers 20 top wedding tips -- and some of the advice is really helpful. For instance did you know:

• Ask for what you want. Do your negotiating with a vendor before you sign the contract, and you might be able to wrangle a few freebies for yourself.
• Charge it. If you can pay it off each month, charge your wedding expenses on a card that offers free miles, rewards or cash back. But if you won't pay it off, don't rack up the interest payments.
• Follow the formula: 48-50 percent of total budget to reception; 8-10 percent for flowers; 8-10 percent for attire; 8-10 percent for entertainment/music; 10-12 percent for photo/video; 2-3 percent for invites; 2-3 percent for gifts; and 8 percent for miscellaneous items. Keep an extra 5-10 percent of your money for surprise expenses.

Have some tips not covered in the article? Post a comment and let me know!

More on the bridal jewlery front.

If you prefer the traditional, Simple Treasures, a company out of Chicago, offers one-of-a-kind bridal pieces. Owned by painter/sculptor Maureen Fagan, each piece of jewelry is handmade and offers its own distinct flair. Prices are reasonable as well. A choker is avaialble for $90, and earrings go for as little as $42.

However, if handmade appeals to you, don't forget about New Hampshire craftsmen, who also make one-of-a-kind pieces. Plus, you get the added benefit of supporting a local business. For a list of top craftsmen, you can check with the League of New Hampshire Craftsmen. They also hold a fair at Mount Sunapee the week of August 2. Or, check out the League's retail galleries.

If you're looking for the kind of jewelry you can wear again and again, check out Tigerlilly. It's convertable jewelry: Tiaras become necklaces and bun wraps become bracelets. The fun here is if you get a great piece of jewlery, you can wear it forever. While there's not much call for tiaras after your wedding day, you can always use a great necklace. The downside: These pieces are much more expensive, costing up to $250 for a necklace/headband. The good news: You can customize the colors and wear the pieces for as long as you want. Here's an example of one convertable headband that doubles as a necklace.

I'm not changing my name when I marry Ed. That hasn't been a popular decision with my family, his family or even Ed, really. Fortunately Ed respects my right to make my own decision about what I'll be called, but it's not an easy choice.

The Conde Nast Bridal Group did a study of wedding trends and found that 81 percent of brides are taking their husband's name. What used to be a hallmark of feminism is now giving way to the traditional Mr. and Mrs.

Ed makes good points. He'd like me to take his name because he wants to symbolize that we're one family. He also points out that I'll spend the rest of my days correcting people, "No I'm not Mrs. Baird, I kept my own name after marriage."

But I want to retain some sense of independence and some sense of myself. For me keeping my name is not only a nod to feminism (I mean, no one expects Ed to change his name; I'm the only one who's doing the explaining here). My name is part of who I am. It's my identity. It's the name my mother yelled whenever I was in trouble, the name I got my degree under and the name Ed said when he proposed. I have a lot of history with Donna Roberson.

However, I'm by no means rabid on this stance. Any choice you make is a good choice, as long as it's right for you.

That said, post a comment and weigh in on whether you plan on keeping (or have kept) your name after marriage.

One of the things Ed and I did this weekend on our wedding jaunt to Portland was stop in and see our florist.

My mom is bound and determined to have centerpieces on the tables -- and no, the salt and pepper doesn't count (I checked). So over the holidays I headed to the Christmas Tree Shops and took advantage of some of their sales, coming up with small mason jars made of blue- and green-tinted glass.

The Christmas Tree Shops, or any dollar store, is a great place to get the vases or containers for your centerpieces. Many florists will charge as much as $20 per vase, while I picked up the little mason jars for $1.50. Obviously the quality is different, but if you need to cut corners a little, it's a good deal.

However, I brought the jar to the florist, and she said she thought she could come up with a nice centerpiece for . . . $25 . . . EACH. It's all black for a few minutes after that.

Ed and I talked to the manager at Bull Feeney's, where we're planning the reception, and he estimated we'd need about 25-30 centerpieces -- $750 for flowers that will sit on the table for 4 hours!

I talked to my mother and, thankfully, she agreed that centerpieces shouldn't cost as much as the wedding cake, so now we're looking at DIY centerpieces.

I'm not sure how this is going to work, but several of my friends made their own centerpieces and, to be honest, I can remember a single one. So I assume they couldn't have been bad, otherwise I'd have remembered. And who really looks at the centerpieces, anyway?

That said, I'm not sure about the logistics of dragging 30 centerpieces to Maine, especially since my mom wants to use fresh flowers. However, if you're thinking about making centerpieces for your wedding and do want to include fresh flowers, after you talk with a florist, check out buying in bulk from an online provider. While I can't speak to quality, often these sites offer better prices. A few to check out:

Online Wholesale Flowers - This site offers kits and books as well as flowers to help the first-time DIY florist.

Growers Box - This site offers several wedding-in-a-box kits as well as fresh and freeze-dried rose petals.

Costco - Believe it or not, Costco offer bulk flowers for special occasions online. The flowers are fresh-cut and start at prices less than $100.

Flowers and Freshness - This site has a special wedding section and offers free shipping.

If you're planning a DIY, or you may want to buy your bouquets and arrange your own centerpieces, you should schedule the flowers to arrive a couple of days before your wedding, so you have plenty of time to work on your ceterpieces. Also, when ordering flowers, try for something that fits in with:

• Season of wedding.
• Place of ceremony.
• Wedding colors.
• Atmosphere of reception.

And good luck!

If you're looking for a little fashion flair to set you apart from all those other women in white at your wedding, Los Angeles designer Tarina Tarantino is offering Hello Kitty bridal attire. The colors focus mainly on white, pink and black pins, necklaces, earings and the odd tiara. Most of the pieces are set off by beads or crystals, evoking that childhood cartoon jewelry but adding an upscale flare. It's called the Pink Head collection, since Hello Kitty is sporting pink hair. The prices are not for the faint of heart; earings cost about $80 and a "something blue" clutch is about $355.

Also at funweddingthings.com, you can get wedding accessories, including garters with your baby picture on them, a cake topper with the bride and groom on an ATV or  get wedding gear with your favorite sports team on it. Check it out. You can surprise your groom with a Patriots or Red Sox logo on your garter!

Ed and I went wedding cake tasting this weekend. We took his daughters. Note to all about-to-be stepparents: You think by the time they've hit middle school they're no longer suceptible to the sugar rush. Don't believe it. Several cakes later, energy was running high. Really high. I-started-looking-for-horse-tranquilizers high.

We hit three bakeries in Maine. We opted not to go with a cake that we'd have to transport since visions of stale, squashed cake danced in my head.

Up at 7 a.m., we had our first cake tasting at 10 a.m. Yup, we gave the kids cake for breakfast. Handmade Desserts, of Portland, offered up a fabulous lemon cake filled with raspberry. I was a little hesitant, thinking lemon cake is for the generation that likes Jell-O mold. But it was great. She had the most artistic designs but, unfortunately, the highest prices -- $825 for a cake.

Then we tasted cake at Cakes of Joy in Lisbon Falls. This is a family-owned business that definitely offered the best price -- $450 for a cake -- but the quality was lacking. The frosting had a weird, tangy taste and it was a little gritty. The woman we spoke to was willing to work with us on whatever we wanted, but had little to show us in the way of completed designs.

Finally, we landed at Cakes Extraordinaire, of Portland. They made us two six-inch round cakes to try, one in chocolate, one in vanilla. The designs were OK, nothing wonderful, but the white cake was unbelievable to taste. It had a great, vanilla flavor and was dense and moist. The icing was a little sweet. The price was middle-of-the-road as well, costing about $600.

So now, Ed and I must decide how much our wedding cake is worth to us. Do we go with a great design and high pricetag, a middle-of-the-road cake or a less expensive cake that may not taste perfect? We are serving the cake as dessert, so it won't get wasted. Ed's leaning toward Cakes Extraordinaire. I really liked the lemon cake at Handmade Desserts, but I'm not sure I liked it enough to pay an extra $200 for it.

In the meantime, because communication is key in any relationship, Ed stopped in and booked a hotel room for our wedding night while we were in Maine. Problem is, I booked a room at the same hotel -- and told him all about it -- two weeks ago. Maybe I should send him a save the date card so he ends up at the right place at the right time!

When it comes to your photography, it pays to shop around. There's a wide range of prices out there, and checking out all your options makes sense.

When looking for a photographer, I found some photographers started at $850 while others started pricing at $2,000! Look for places to cut corners. If you have a quality printer at home, maybe you'd be happy with a photographer that provided all the images on CD and you could skip the album. Or maybe you don't need a photographer willing to take pictures all day long. If a package has more options than you really need, ask the photographer to cut some of the options -- and the price.

Ed and I hired a Kyle Burnell out of Gray, Maine. He'll provide all of our images on CD, which is important to me; I want to share them with friends and family. Serving Maine, New Hampshire and Massachusetts, he'll stay for four hours and hop from location to location, as needed. I will be cutting out the getting ready photos, but I'm bringing a camera and am hoping that without a photographer there, the photos will be more personal and relaxed.

So far, I've liked the photos I've seen online and he's been great to work with, modifying the contract so I could pay him in smaller, more frequent installments. I apppreciate vendors who are willing to adjust to my needs.

If you're thinking about proposing, you can document your wedding from the day it all started. NH Images Photography & Video, of Nashua, will photograph your proposal. For $299, they'll hang out for up to two hours to catch you popping the questions on camera.

But don't skimp on the photography. These pictures will be the ones you show your grandchildren. Make sure they reflect the day you had. 

If you're in the mood for a little junk TV with a wedding flair, check out "Bulging Brides" on WE TV. Brides who thought they'd be able to shape up for their wedding are now looking at the aisle at the end of the tunnel and realize they're not going to make it without a little help. Enter a nutritionist and a personal trainer and a lot of determination.

Sunday night, 10 p.m. Here's a little sample from a previous season. In the meantime, feel free to share your wedding weight loss tips by posting a comment.

I'm finding that there's lots of stuff I'm expected to do on my wedding day besides show up and get married. Most of this information comes from my mom, who really could give Emily Post a run for her money. She's certainly giving me a run for mine.

One of these things brides are expected to do on their wedding day is play the perfect hostess. Whether you're comfortable in social situations or this is the first time you've been allowed out on furlough, guests are expecting you too look like you've got your act together. A bit unfair? Maybe. What's even worse is one of my friends who recently got married told me that it's only the bride that's held to such lofty expectations. The groom gets away scott-free.

Anyway, there's a great article from a local news station in New York, with a bunch of tips to help you polish your hostessing skills. A few things are common sense; a few things I wouldn't have thought of.

Some tips

- See everyone at your wedding for a little bit. Either have a receiving line or go table to table.

- Use parents and close friends as deputy hosts. Let them help you make sure appetizers are circulated evenly and everyone is comfortable.

- Play a wide variety of music.

- Keep your wedding on schedule so guests don't have to wait around.

Okay, not really, but face it, we're all pretty lucky. We found someone completely fabulous to marry and we're about to throw an awesome party and get a ton of presents.

There are a bunch of ways, you can incorporate some giving into your wedding. I'm using a few of these options in my own wedding:

Interested in saving some dollars for your wedding? ABC news has some great tips on their Web site.

And some of them are very easy, they just require a little knowledge and some forethought. For example, sending rectangular invitations can save you a bundle in postage. The U.S. Post Office charges extra for odd-shaped envelopes, so going traditional can add up. Especially since I just bought 100 stamps for $41!

Ed and I got our save the date cards today. We went with a traditional postcard size, so it can be sent out for the cost of a postcard stamp.

Check out the article this weekend and see how buttercream frosting and a DJ can also cut your costs.

See you on Monday!

Well, I don’t exactly have a wedding dress, but I will have one.

I found a fabulous seamstress in Londonderry who not only does beautiful work but also has reasonable prices.

Deb, of Sew Special Designs, works right out of her home on Chase Road in Londonderry, a mere 11 miles from Nashua.

I contacted Deb about two weeks ago and set up an appointment and e-mailed her some dresses I liked. Today, I went to her home, and she sat down with me for an hour, reviewing the dresses I sent her, possible fabric choices and various options. During our meeting she made a rough sketch of my future dress so I could change any elements I didn’t like beforehand.

She was also well prepared. She had researched trims and already had some fabrics that she thought would look good ready for me. She also had tons of samples and swatches so I could see the actual fabric before I made a choice.

If you’re looking for your wedding dress, I highly recommend Sew Special Designs. The pictures I’ve seen of her work are beautiful, Deb’s manner and experience (25 years) can’t be beat and you definitely get what you pay for.

After looking through bridal stores and $1,500 gowns, I will pay – wait for it – $650 to have my dress custom-made. That includes all fabric and alterations as well.

Most dressmakers should include fabric and alterations in their cost, which can end up being a money-saver. Bridal-shop prices don’t include any alterations or changes to the style of the dress, so when you’re dress shopping, be careful of those hidden costs, which could easily add hundreds of dollars to your final price.

Okay, it doesn't sound quite as sweet as honeymoon, but mead -- that sweet wine made of honey that's popular at Renaissance fairs -- is actually the inspiration for the term honeymoon. The newly married couple used to drink mead after the wedding to boost fertility.

Now even if recouperation is more your idea of a honeymoon than starting a family, it's a major part of your wedding and should be treated as such. You'll spend more time honeymooning than you will at your actual wedding.

An article from Australia says the trend is moving towards luxury 2- to 3-week honeymoons, often on beaches, where the couple can relax and enjoy the business of being married. Locations are often exotic, warm, and full of relaxation and fun.

Many suggest it's a good idea to include your honeymoon when budgeting for your wedding. No sense in getting up to the big day and realizing you don't have the money to go anywhere.

But if money is tight, there are a couple of options:

1. Find a honeymoon travel agent. Because weddings are a booming business, so, it stands to reason are honeymoons. Often travel agents can help you find a better deal or a romantic cost-effective package.

2. Register for a honeymoon. If you've got all the dishes you need, you can actually register with a travel agent for a honeymoon. Then guests can contribute to sending you away.

3. Look for something low-budget that offers a similar feel. One of my co-workers headed to the Florida Keys for her honeymoon, rather than a beach in Maui. It was less expensive, but she said, the atmosphere was such a change from New Hampshire, she still felt like she was on a tropical island. So look close to home if you're looking to save money.

If you're wondering where Ed and I are heading for our honeymoon, the answer is I don't know. Ed is planning the honeymoon and I actually won't know where we're going until we get there. It's an exciting for me and I hope Ed will have fun planning the surprise.

Okay, the title has nothing to do with my blog, but I just wanted to get my little vote of confidence in for the Super Bowl this year.

Onto the wedding rings . . .

Ed and I bought out wedding rings quite a while ago. Actually, before we got engaged. So wedding rings are not among the things I have to stress over.

But if they're on your mind, check out Green Carat. If friends and family are willing to donate their used gold (think broken bracelets or those gold chains you bought in the 80s thinking that big hair would never go out of style), Green Carat will create your wedding rings from this recycled gold. You and you fiance will forever have wedding rings created, in a sense, by family and friends and designed to your specifications.

If you have no recycled gold, Green Carat also makes environmentally friendly wedding rings; order either from their catalog of designs or create your own.

Either way, you'll get an absolutely beautiful ring and do a little bit for the environment.

Most women buy their gown, then look for the right undergarments to pull it all together.

Not me.

I went shopping today for strapless bras. No point in falling in love with a great dress, buying it and then finding out that you require duct tape to hold everything together. Don’t laugh, one of my friends really does use duct tape. I just can’t see it leading to a romantic wedding night.

ANYWAY . . . Upon the recommendation of one woman at a bridal shop I hit Night and Day in Andover, Mass. It’s not too far, right off of 495. And it’s definitely worth the trip.

The store carries all manner of undergarments, including strapless bras into a G-cup. And if they don’t have what you’re looking for, they’ll order it for you. The saleswoman was fabulous, bringing me all different kinds of styles of bras and helping me evaluate their effectiveness.

Even better, this store has a special policy for brides. Typically bras can be returned for a store credit. However, brides can purchase a bra, bring it to their dress fitting, and, if it doesn’t fit the dress, bring it back for a full refund.

There’s a second location in Newburyport, Mass., as well.

The closest one will be in Boston at the Hynes Convention Center on Friday, Feb. 22. If you've got the moxie, you can pick up a fabulous dress at an unbelievable price. Be ready to haggle with the bride that's holding the dress of your dreams though.

In other money-saving news . . .

As unbelievable as this is, Target is selling wedding dresses. And bridemaids gowns. And wedding veils.  

Issac Mizrahi has designed a whole line for brides looking for that ideal wedding gown under $200. Sizes run from 2-20 and there’s not a dress there that costs more than $160. I think this is a great option if you’re trying to cut costs and have a pretty standard figure. I’m pretty sure Target isn’t going to be available for alterations. Bridesmaids gowns start at $30. While you may not get the top-shelf quality of a bridal store, the dresses are perfect for one-time use.

However, Target may not be the place if you’re looking to register for gifts. An Ohio newspaper reported on one bride’s experience registering at Club Wedd that left her aggravated and with numerous double gifts, which is exactly what registering is supposed to prevent. Even worse, Target wouldn’t take the gifts back without a gift receipt or the purchaser’s credit card number.

Be cautious when registering. Check out store policies in advance and make sure you’re happy with them before telling your guests to shop there.

I went to a wedding this weekend in Lake Placid, N.Y. Of course, now that I’m planning a wedding, I notice a lot more details, and this wedding was a winner.

Not only were the bride and groom deliriously happy to get married, but they kept it simple.

It was a second marriage for both the bride and the groom and the bride wore an off-the-rack cocktail dress. The couple had rented a small function room in a hotel, so the crowd was kept down to 100 people, and all the guests had a great view as the bride sailed down the aisle on her dads arm. A good enough view that we could all see the tears in her eyes.

We also had a great view when the groom’s two-year-old granddaughter ran up to the bride in the middle of the ceremony and insisted “Grandma” pick her up. The couple took their vows while the bride held onto her step-granddaughter, who, suddenly realizing something was up, took a second look at the bride and whispered, “Grandma, you look beautiful.” The bride was laughing so hard she had to be reminded to say “I do” to the big question, eliciting a roar from the guests.

Then, it was finger food and dancing for the rest of the night.

I'm thinking about walking down the aisle in jeans and my favorite navy blue sweater that I got at Kmart when I was in high school with the burn mark near the bum, a souvenier from getting too friendly with a lightbulb when I was in college.

But I'm afraid of my mother.

Actually, I'm afraid she would launch herself over the crowd to throttle me on the altar before pitching my corpse over the side of the boat. You may think I'm exaggerating, but my mom really wants to see me in a dress. She's been waiting an awfully long time to unload me. I think she may have offered Ed 40 goats and three bags of rice.

Because I'm afraid and my mother is determined, we went wedding dress shopping again. The long story short: We're going to have a dress made. The long story long . . . .

We headed out to Waltham, Mass. Lareine's bridal was first up on the list. I had spoken with the woman over the phone, clearly expressed my desired for an unusual dress and sent Web site photos of those I fancied. The woman sat us down brought out two dresses, which she unceremoniously threw up on hooks; looked us in the eye and said, "I hate that I don't have a dress for you."

Excuse me? Could that have come up in the phone conversation yesterday? Like when you called to confirm my appointment? Could you have tacked on, "And we'll be showing you nothing" by the way?

The one-hour appointment lasted 10 minutes.

Off we went to Yolanda's, also in Waltham. The service was excellent and they had many dresses, none of which suited me. However, I did have the distinct pleasure of standing in my underwear in front of my mother while I tried on dresses.

As we got in the car, she "delicately" broached the subject. "Are you doing exercises to tone up, dear?" she asked. "I hear yoga is good for that kind of thing."

Some things you just can't invent.

As I peruse through bridal magazines -- okay maybe I mean flip through at amazing speed, but anyway, the periodical is open and I'm half-awake -- there are lots of articles on prenuptial agreements.

I know everyone says that legally these make a lot of sense, but I can't help see it as hammering out the divorce agreement because you're only expecting to be married for 5-10 years.

Anyway, with the thought of divorce looming large in my wedding plans . . . I know, my mother shakes her head too . . . I hopped online to check out premartial counseling.

If you're getting married, it's definitely worth checking into. While many religious leaders offer premartial counseling, psychologists do as well. It's not a requirement that you be having problems with your partner to go; in fact, the whole point of counseling is not to have problems.

We've all heard the statistic that one in four couples gets a divorce. But your chances of staying married jump by 30 percent if you get premarital counseling. Moreover, some say that couples have from a year before the wedding to a six months after the wedding to attend counseling and create a happier marriage. Beyond that, patterns are set, and you're trying to fix what's already broken.

A good counselor, religious or otherwise, should help you explore your feelings about major issues, such as finances, raising children and elder care, and provide conflict resolution tips to help you get your marriage off on the right foot.

After all, planning a wedding is a huge investment. Hopefully, you'll only have to do it once.

It's a bad idea to straighten your curly hair for your wedding, especially during the winter? It's more likely to frizz.

Hairstyles are going natural, rather than B-52s, and they're likely to hold up better that way?

Check out this article as you think about your wedding do.

I feel compelled to point out extreme examples of Bridezilla-itis.

One of my bridesmaids is the maid of honor in someone else’s summer wedding, which is hurtling toward her and her bank account at warp speed.

The bride has decided that she wants a Jack and Jill wedding shower, where EVERYONE invited to the wedding is also invited to the shower. Do the math and it comes up to be the price of a small wedding. Since the maid of honor is responsible for throwing the bridal shower, the expense and aggravation has landed squarely on her shoulders.

She’s made attempts to get the bridal party together, and they’ve balked at spending a minimum of $250 each for a bridal shower. There was a lot of brainstorming, a lot of talk about who could make what and an some kvetching about how much the bride expected.

However, my friend’s tale of woe doesn’t stop there. She then talked to the bride, who informed her that she didn’t want paper plates or a “backyard barbecue ghetto shower.” She also didn’t want a VFW (ghetto), a sheet cake (ghetto) or paper napkins (ghetto). She also expected a DJ and a wedding cake. I believe it was here that her head spun around and she spewed pea soup all over everyone.

Even more aggravating, rather than the bridal party talking to each other and calmly sitting down and talking to the bride, everyone is complaining only to each other, so nothing really changes.

Brides, take a lesson from this:

1. Your bridal party has limited funds. They’re already paying a lot to be in your wedding. Go easy on them.

2. By the time your ranting and raving like a lunatic and screaming, “They must eat wedding cake,” everyone will be too afraid of you to tell you you’re acting like a nut. So, it’s up to you to rein in your own behavior.

Ugh.

I took my first crack at looking at dresses today. I went to a seamstress who will design your gown for you, but has seperate pieces for you to try on -- As You Like It Bridal.

It wasn't really what I expected. The thing about wedding dresses: They all kind of look the same. So I keep trying on pieces and I keep looking the same. While the dressmaker could make the dress I found online, she didn't have a gown with a similar line to try on, so I would have had to order it and hope for the best. The cost was also a little more than I was bargaining for.

I stopped in at David's Bridal on D.W. Highway after that. They have some great deals if you're in the market for a traditional wedding dress. And if you're looking for something a little different or thinking of adding color, check out their bridesmaids gowns. Many of the full-length bridesmaids gowns are under $200 and many of them have beading, lace and multiple layers, so there's some great choices there for less money.

I still really like my original celtic dress, so I'm also going to be scouring the Nashua area for both dressmakers and bridal shops. If you know a good one, take a minute a post it here.

I'm about to embark on shopping for my wedding dress -- tomorrow. Not tomorrow as in "tomorrow never comes;" tomorrow as in I have an 11 a.m. appointment on Tuesday. Gulp. A friend's mother gave me a piece of advice: "Wear off-white. No sense in being a hypocrite."

I have gotten a few comments like this, embarking on my first wedding in my early 30s. But little do these pecking hens know, color is the new white, so to speak.

Many brides are choosing wine-colored or burgundy dresses (red-- the color of passion and love) or accenting their white or ivory dresses with colored sashes, some in colors that match the bridesmaids, others in colors that offset the bridesmaids dresses.

When you're shopping, get a dress that works for you. Everyone has a different body type, flaws they want to hide, assets they want to flaunt. A knowledgable bridal shop shouldn't be afraid to tell you when a dress makes you look lumpy, frumpy or just plain bad. If it's all about looking your best, then a bridal shop should be able to help you choose a flattering design. Fabric is also important. If you're trying to hide something, a clingy fabric, isn't your best friend. If you've been going to the gym religiously for the past year -- then, hey, get the clingiest fabric you can fine.

Here's what I like so far. Obviously, I'm not flying to Scotland to get a wedding dress, but I think the dress is beautiful. I'll let you know how it works out. Keep your fingers crossed.

If you're planning a big event for your wedding, you might want to look into wedding insurance.

Insurance will cover you for the something-goes-wrong type of wedding disaster, such as the place you're having yoru reception goes out of business; the life disaster, like death or dismemberment, and, if you're willing to pay extra, liability insurance, just in case something happens at your wedding.

What it won't cover is cold feet. If only. So if you or the groom drops out, you've lost the insurance fees on top of your deposits.

I think it's a great idea, especially if you're having a lavish wedding, someone in your family is ill, or you're planning a wedding that could run you into some liability. I'm not going to take the insurance route myself, since I have no funds to pay the fees and if anyone sued me, they'd get an old Susuki Forenza and an angry cat.

But I do think it's something a couple should consider. While you'd like to believe that your nearest and dearest friends wouldn't sue, it's always possible.

WedSafe can answer your questions about wedding insurance and give you some basic quotes. However, if you're looking to go local, here are some insurance companies in the Nashua area. According to yellowpages.com, all of these companies offer wedding insurance:

The Minuteman Group

Sadler Insurance Agency

McBriarty Insurance Agency

Slawsbury Insurance Agency

It's primary time, so I won't be blogging a lot today, but I couldn't resist sharing an article with all of you from a bride who planned her entire wedding online -- she was in Vegas and her wedding was in Scotland.

While s