We all want great advice on how to plan a wedding, if we could only duck the people whose "advice" is merely to imitate what they did.

Check out this article. It offers 20 top wedding tips -- and some of the advice is really helpful. For instance did you know:

• Ask for what you want. Do your negotiating with a vendor before you sign the contract, and you might be able to wrangle a few freebies for yourself.
• Charge it. If you can pay it off each month, charge your wedding expenses on a card that offers free miles, rewards or cash back. But if you won't pay it off, don't rack up the interest payments.
• Follow the formula: 48-50 percent of total budget to reception; 8-10 percent for flowers; 8-10 percent for attire; 8-10 percent for entertainment/music; 10-12 percent for photo/video; 2-3 percent for invites; 2-3 percent for gifts; and 8 percent for miscellaneous items. Keep an extra 5-10 percent of your money for surprise expenses.

Have some tips not covered in the article? Post a comment and let me know!

More on the bridal jewlery front.

If you prefer the traditional, Simple Treasures, a company out of Chicago, offers one-of-a-kind bridal pieces. Owned by painter/sculptor Maureen Fagan, each piece of jewelry is handmade and offers its own distinct flair. Prices are reasonable as well. A choker is avaialble for $90, and earrings go for as little as $42.

However, if handmade appeals to you, don't forget about New Hampshire craftsmen, who also make one-of-a-kind pieces. Plus, you get the added benefit of supporting a local business. For a list of top craftsmen, you can check with the League of New Hampshire Craftsmen. They also hold a fair at Mount Sunapee the week of August 2. Or, check out the League's retail galleries.

If you're looking for the kind of jewelry you can wear again and again, check out Tigerlilly. It's convertable jewelry: Tiaras become necklaces and bun wraps become bracelets. The fun here is if you get a great piece of jewlery, you can wear it forever. While there's not much call for tiaras after your wedding day, you can always use a great necklace. The downside: These pieces are much more expensive, costing up to $250 for a necklace/headband. The good news: You can customize the colors and wear the pieces for as long as you want. Here's an example of one convertable headband that doubles as a necklace.

I'm not changing my name when I marry Ed. That hasn't been a popular decision with my family, his family or even Ed, really. Fortunately Ed respects my right to make my own decision about what I'll be called, but it's not an easy choice.

The Conde Nast Bridal Group did a study of wedding trends and found that 81 percent of brides are taking their husband's name. What used to be a hallmark of feminism is now giving way to the traditional Mr. and Mrs.

Ed makes good points. He'd like me to take his name because he wants to symbolize that we're one family. He also points out that I'll spend the rest of my days correcting people, "No I'm not Mrs. Baird, I kept my own name after marriage."

But I want to retain some sense of independence and some sense of myself. For me keeping my name is not only a nod to feminism (I mean, no one expects Ed to change his name; I'm the only one who's doing the explaining here). My name is part of who I am. It's my identity. It's the name my mother yelled whenever I was in trouble, the name I got my degree under and the name Ed said when he proposed. I have a lot of history with Donna Roberson.

However, I'm by no means rabid on this stance. Any choice you make is a good choice, as long as it's right for you.

That said, post a comment and weigh in on whether you plan on keeping (or have kept) your name after marriage.

One of the things Ed and I did this weekend on our wedding jaunt to Portland was stop in and see our florist.

My mom is bound and determined to have centerpieces on the tables -- and no, the salt and pepper doesn't count (I checked). So over the holidays I headed to the Christmas Tree Shops and took advantage of some of their sales, coming up with small mason jars made of blue- and green-tinted glass.

The Christmas Tree Shops, or any dollar store, is a great place to get the vases or containers for your centerpieces. Many florists will charge as much as $20 per vase, while I picked up the little mason jars for $1.50. Obviously the quality is different, but if you need to cut corners a little, it's a good deal.

However, I brought the jar to the florist, and she said she thought she could come up with a nice centerpiece for . . . $25 . . . EACH. It's all black for a few minutes after that.

Ed and I talked to the manager at Bull Feeney's, where we're planning the reception, and he estimated we'd need about 25-30 centerpieces -- $750 for flowers that will sit on the table for 4 hours!

I talked to my mother and, thankfully, she agreed that centerpieces shouldn't cost as much as the wedding cake, so now we're looking at DIY centerpieces.

I'm not sure how this is going to work, but several of my friends made their own centerpieces and, to be honest, I can remember a single one. So I assume they couldn't have been bad, otherwise I'd have remembered. And who really looks at the centerpieces, anyway?

That said, I'm not sure about the logistics of dragging 30 centerpieces to Maine, especially since my mom wants to use fresh flowers. However, if you're thinking about making centerpieces for your wedding and do want to include fresh flowers, after you talk with a florist, check out buying in bulk from an online provider. While I can't speak to quality, often these sites offer better prices. A few to check out:

Online Wholesale Flowers - This site offers kits and books as well as flowers to help the first-time DIY florist.

Growers Box - This site offers several wedding-in-a-box kits as well as fresh and freeze-dried rose petals.

Costco - Believe it or not, Costco offer bulk flowers for special occasions online. The flowers are fresh-cut and start at prices less than $100.

Flowers and Freshness - This site has a special wedding section and offers free shipping.

If you're planning a DIY, or you may want to buy your bouquets and arrange your own centerpieces, you should schedule the flowers to arrive a couple of days before your wedding, so you have plenty of time to work on your ceterpieces. Also, when ordering flowers, try for something that fits in with:

• Season of wedding.
• Place of ceremony.
• Wedding colors.
• Atmosphere of reception.

And good luck!

If you're looking for a little fashion flair to set you apart from all those other women in white at your wedding, Los Angeles designer Tarina Tarantino is offering Hello Kitty bridal attire. The colors focus mainly on white, pink and black pins, necklaces, earings and the odd tiara. Most of the pieces are set off by beads or crystals, evoking that childhood cartoon jewelry but adding an upscale flare. It's called the Pink Head collection, since Hello Kitty is sporting pink hair. The prices are not for the faint of heart; earings cost about $80 and a "something blue" clutch is about $355.

Also at funweddingthings.com, you can get wedding accessories, including garters with your baby picture on them, a cake topper with the bride and groom on an ATV or  get wedding gear with your favorite sports team on it. Check it out. You can surprise your groom with a Patriots or Red Sox logo on your garter!

Ed and I went wedding cake tasting this weekend. We took his daughters. Note to all about-to-be stepparents: You think by the time they've hit middle school they're no longer suceptible to the sugar rush. Don't believe it. Several cakes later, energy was running high. Really high. I-started-looking-for-horse-tranquilizers high.

We hit three bakeries in Maine. We opted not to go with a cake that we'd have to transport since visions of stale, squashed cake danced in my head.

Up at 7 a.m., we had our first cake tasting at 10 a.m. Yup, we gave the kids cake for breakfast. Handmade Desserts, of Portland, offered up a fabulous lemon cake filled with raspberry. I was a little hesitant, thinking lemon cake is for the generation that likes Jell-O mold. But it was great. She had the most artistic designs but, unfortunately, the highest prices -- $825 for a cake.

Then we tasted cake at Cakes of Joy in Lisbon Falls. This is a family-owned business that definitely offered the best price -- $450 for a cake -- but the quality was lacking. The frosting had a weird, tangy taste and it was a little gritty. The woman we spoke to was willing to work with us on whatever we wanted, but had little to show us in the way of completed designs.

Finally, we landed at Cakes Extraordinaire, of Portland. They made us two six-inch round cakes to try, one in chocolate, one in vanilla. The designs were OK, nothing wonderful, but the white cake was unbelievable to taste. It had a great, vanilla flavor and was dense and moist. The icing was a little sweet. The price was middle-of-the-road as well, costing about $600.

So now, Ed and I must decide how much our wedding cake is worth to us. Do we go with a great design and high pricetag, a middle-of-the-road cake or a less expensive cake that may not taste perfect? We are serving the cake as dessert, so it won't get wasted. Ed's leaning toward Cakes Extraordinaire. I really liked the lemon cake at Handmade Desserts, but I'm not sure I liked it enough to pay an extra $200 for it.

In the meantime, because communication is key in any relationship, Ed stopped in and booked a hotel room for our wedding night while we were in Maine. Problem is, I booked a room at the same hotel -- and told him all about it -- two weeks ago. Maybe I should send him a save the date card so he ends up at the right place at the right time!

When it comes to your photography, it pays to shop around. There's a wide range of prices out there, and checking out all your options makes sense.

When looking for a photographer, I found some photographers started at $850 while others started pricing at $2,000! Look for places to cut corners. If you have a quality printer at home, maybe you'd be happy with a photographer that provided all the images on CD and you could skip the album. Or maybe you don't need a photographer willing to take pictures all day long. If a package has more options than you really need, ask the photographer to cut some of the options -- and the price.

Ed and I hired a Kyle Burnell out of Gray, Maine. He'll provide all of our images on CD, which is important to me; I want to share them with friends and family. Serving Maine, New Hampshire and Massachusetts, he'll stay for four hours and hop from location to location, as needed. I will be cutting out the getting ready photos, but I'm bringing a camera and am hoping that without a photographer there, the photos will be more personal and relaxed.

So far, I've liked the photos I've seen online and he's been great to work with, modifying the contract so I could pay him in smaller, more frequent installments. I apppreciate vendors who are willing to adjust to my needs.

If you're thinking about proposing, you can document your wedding from the day it all started. NH Images Photography & Video, of Nashua, will photograph your proposal. For $299, they'll hang out for up to two hours to catch you popping the questions on camera.

But don't skimp on the photography. These pictures will be the ones you show your grandchildren. Make sure they reflect the day you had. 

If you're in the mood for a little junk TV with a wedding flair, check out "Bulging Brides" on WE TV. Brides who thought they'd be able to shape up for their wedding are now looking at the aisle at the end of the tunnel and realize they're not going to make it without a little help. Enter a nutritionist and a personal trainer and a lot of determination.

Sunday night, 10 p.m. Here's a little sample from a previous season. In the meantime, feel free to share your wedding weight loss tips by posting a comment.

I'm finding that there's lots of stuff I'm expected to do on my wedding day besides show up and get married. Most of this information comes from my mom, who really could give Emily Post a run for her money. She's certainly giving me a run for mine.

One of these things brides are expected to do on their wedding day is play the perfect hostess. Whether you're comfortable in social situations or this is the first time you've been allowed out on furlough, guests are expecting you too look like you've got your act together. A bit unfair? Maybe. What's even worse is one of my friends who recently got married told me that it's only the bride that's held to such lofty expectations. The groom gets away scott-free.

Anyway, there's a great article from a local news station in New York, with a bunch of tips to help you polish your hostessing skills. A few things are common sense; a few things I wouldn't have thought of.

Some tips

- See everyone at your wedding for a little bit. Either have a receiving line or go table to table.

- Use parents and close friends as deputy hosts. Let them help you make sure appetizers are circulated evenly and everyone is comfortable.

- Play a wide variety of music.

- Keep your wedding on schedule so guests don't have to wait around.

Okay, not really, but face it, we're all pretty lucky. We found someone completely fabulous to marry and we're about to throw an awesome party and get a ton of presents.

There are a bunch of ways, you can incorporate some giving into your wedding. I'm using a few of these options in my own wedding:

Interested in saving some dollars for your wedding? ABC news has some great tips on their Web site.

And some of them are very easy, they just require a little knowledge and some forethought. For example, sending rectangular invitations can save you a bundle in postage. The U.S. Post Office charges extra for odd-shaped envelopes, so going traditional can add up. Especially since I just bought 100 stamps for $41!

Ed and I got our save the date cards today. We went with a traditional postcard size, so it can be sent out for the cost of a postcard stamp.

Check out the article this weekend and see how buttercream frosting and a DJ can also cut your costs.

See you on Monday!

Well, I don’t exactly have a wedding dress, but I will have one.

I found a fabulous seamstress in Londonderry who not only does beautiful work but also has reasonable prices.

Deb, of Sew Special Designs, works right out of her home on Chase Road in Londonderry, a mere 11 miles from Nashua.

I contacted Deb about two weeks ago and set up an appointment and e-mailed her some dresses I liked. Today, I went to her home, and she sat down with me for an hour, reviewing the dresses I sent her, possible fabric choices and various options. During our meeting she made a rough sketch of my future dress so I could change any elements I didn’t like beforehand.

She was also well prepared. She had researched trims and already had some fabrics that she thought would look good ready for me. She also had tons of samples and swatches so I could see the actual fabric before I made a choice.

If you’re looking for your wedding dress, I highly recommend Sew Special Designs. The pictures I’ve seen of her work are beautiful, Deb’s manner and experience (25 years) can’t be beat and you definitely get what you pay for.

After looking through bridal stores and $1,500 gowns, I will pay – wait for it – $650 to have my dress custom-made. That includes all fabric and alterations as well.

Most dressmakers should include fabric and alterations in their cost, which can end up being a money-saver. Bridal-shop prices don’t include any alterations or changes to the style of the dress, so when you’re dress shopping, be careful of those hidden costs, which could easily add hundreds of dollars to your final price.

Okay, it doesn't sound quite as sweet as honeymoon, but mead -- that sweet wine made of honey that's popular at Renaissance fairs -- is actually the inspiration for the term honeymoon. The newly married couple used to drink mead after the wedding to boost fertility.

Now even if recouperation is more your idea of a honeymoon than starting a family, it's a major part of your wedding and should be treated as such. You'll spend more time honeymooning than you will at your actual wedding.

An article from Australia says the trend is moving towards luxury 2- to 3-week honeymoons, often on beaches, where the couple can relax and enjoy the business of being married. Locations are often exotic, warm, and full of relaxation and fun.

Many suggest it's a good idea to include your honeymoon when budgeting for your wedding. No sense in getting up to the big day and realizing you don't have the money to go anywhere.

But if money is tight, there are a couple of options:

1. Find a honeymoon travel agent. Because weddings are a booming business, so, it stands to reason are honeymoons. Often travel agents can help you find a better deal or a romantic cost-effective package.

2. Register for a honeymoon. If you've got all the dishes you need, you can actually register with a travel agent for a honeymoon. Then guests can contribute to sending you away.

3. Look for something low-budget that offers a similar feel. One of my co-workers headed to the Florida Keys for her honeymoon, rather than a beach in Maui. It was less expensive, but she said, the atmosphere was such a change from New Hampshire, she still felt like she was on a tropical island. So look close to home if you're looking to save money.

If you're wondering where Ed and I are heading for our honeymoon, the answer is I don't know. Ed is planning the honeymoon and I actually won't know where we're going until we get there. It's an exciting for me and I hope Ed will have fun planning the surprise.

Okay, the title has nothing to do with my blog, but I just wanted to get my little vote of confidence in for the Super Bowl this year.

Onto the wedding rings . . .

Ed and I bought out wedding rings quite a while ago. Actually, before we got engaged. So wedding rings are not among the things I have to stress over.

But if they're on your mind, check out Green Carat. If friends and family are willing to donate their used gold (think broken bracelets or those gold chains you bought in the 80s thinking that big hair would never go out of style), Green Carat will create your wedding rings from this recycled gold. You and you fiance will forever have wedding rings created, in a sense, by family and friends and designed to your specifications.

If you have no recycled gold, Green Carat also makes environmentally friendly wedding rings; order either from their catalog of designs or create your own.

Either way, you'll get an absolutely beautiful ring and do a little bit for the environment.