Most women buy their gown, then look for the right undergarments to pull it all together.

Not me.

I went shopping today for strapless bras. No point in falling in love with a great dress, buying it and then finding out that you require duct tape to hold everything together. Don’t laugh, one of my friends really does use duct tape. I just can’t see it leading to a romantic wedding night.

ANYWAY . . . Upon the recommendation of one woman at a bridal shop I hit Night and Day in Andover, Mass. It’s not too far, right off of 495. And it’s definitely worth the trip.

The store carries all manner of undergarments, including strapless bras into a G-cup. And if they don’t have what you’re looking for, they’ll order it for you. The saleswoman was fabulous, bringing me all different kinds of styles of bras and helping me evaluate their effectiveness.

Even better, this store has a special policy for brides. Typically bras can be returned for a store credit. However, brides can purchase a bra, bring it to their dress fitting, and, if it doesn’t fit the dress, bring it back for a full refund.

There’s a second location in Newburyport, Mass., as well.

The closest one will be in Boston at the Hynes Convention Center on Friday, Feb. 22. If you've got the moxie, you can pick up a fabulous dress at an unbelievable price. Be ready to haggle with the bride that's holding the dress of your dreams though.

In other money-saving news . . .

As unbelievable as this is, Target is selling wedding dresses. And bridemaids gowns. And wedding veils.  

Issac Mizrahi has designed a whole line for brides looking for that ideal wedding gown under $200. Sizes run from 2-20 and there’s not a dress there that costs more than $160. I think this is a great option if you’re trying to cut costs and have a pretty standard figure. I’m pretty sure Target isn’t going to be available for alterations. Bridesmaids gowns start at $30. While you may not get the top-shelf quality of a bridal store, the dresses are perfect for one-time use.

However, Target may not be the place if you’re looking to register for gifts. An Ohio newspaper reported on one bride’s experience registering at Club Wedd that left her aggravated and with numerous double gifts, which is exactly what registering is supposed to prevent. Even worse, Target wouldn’t take the gifts back without a gift receipt or the purchaser’s credit card number.

Be cautious when registering. Check out store policies in advance and make sure you’re happy with them before telling your guests to shop there.

I went to a wedding this weekend in Lake Placid, N.Y. Of course, now that I’m planning a wedding, I notice a lot more details, and this wedding was a winner.

Not only were the bride and groom deliriously happy to get married, but they kept it simple.

It was a second marriage for both the bride and the groom and the bride wore an off-the-rack cocktail dress. The couple had rented a small function room in a hotel, so the crowd was kept down to 100 people, and all the guests had a great view as the bride sailed down the aisle on her dads arm. A good enough view that we could all see the tears in her eyes.

We also had a great view when the groom’s two-year-old granddaughter ran up to the bride in the middle of the ceremony and insisted “Grandma” pick her up. The couple took their vows while the bride held onto her step-granddaughter, who, suddenly realizing something was up, took a second look at the bride and whispered, “Grandma, you look beautiful.” The bride was laughing so hard she had to be reminded to say “I do” to the big question, eliciting a roar from the guests.

Then, it was finger food and dancing for the rest of the night.

I'm thinking about walking down the aisle in jeans and my favorite navy blue sweater that I got at Kmart when I was in high school with the burn mark near the bum, a souvenier from getting too friendly with a lightbulb when I was in college.

But I'm afraid of my mother.

Actually, I'm afraid she would launch herself over the crowd to throttle me on the altar before pitching my corpse over the side of the boat. You may think I'm exaggerating, but my mom really wants to see me in a dress. She's been waiting an awfully long time to unload me. I think she may have offered Ed 40 goats and three bags of rice.

Because I'm afraid and my mother is determined, we went wedding dress shopping again. The long story short: We're going to have a dress made. The long story long . . . .

We headed out to Waltham, Mass. Lareine's bridal was first up on the list. I had spoken with the woman over the phone, clearly expressed my desired for an unusual dress and sent Web site photos of those I fancied. The woman sat us down brought out two dresses, which she unceremoniously threw up on hooks; looked us in the eye and said, "I hate that I don't have a dress for you."

Excuse me? Could that have come up in the phone conversation yesterday? Like when you called to confirm my appointment? Could you have tacked on, "And we'll be showing you nothing" by the way?

The one-hour appointment lasted 10 minutes.

Off we went to Yolanda's, also in Waltham. The service was excellent and they had many dresses, none of which suited me. However, I did have the distinct pleasure of standing in my underwear in front of my mother while I tried on dresses.

As we got in the car, she "delicately" broached the subject. "Are you doing exercises to tone up, dear?" she asked. "I hear yoga is good for that kind of thing."

Some things you just can't invent.

As I peruse through bridal magazines -- okay maybe I mean flip through at amazing speed, but anyway, the periodical is open and I'm half-awake -- there are lots of articles on prenuptial agreements.

I know everyone says that legally these make a lot of sense, but I can't help see it as hammering out the divorce agreement because you're only expecting to be married for 5-10 years.

Anyway, with the thought of divorce looming large in my wedding plans . . . I know, my mother shakes her head too . . . I hopped online to check out premartial counseling.

If you're getting married, it's definitely worth checking into. While many religious leaders offer premartial counseling, psychologists do as well. It's not a requirement that you be having problems with your partner to go; in fact, the whole point of counseling is not to have problems.

We've all heard the statistic that one in four couples gets a divorce. But your chances of staying married jump by 30 percent if you get premarital counseling. Moreover, some say that couples have from a year before the wedding to a six months after the wedding to attend counseling and create a happier marriage. Beyond that, patterns are set, and you're trying to fix what's already broken.

A good counselor, religious or otherwise, should help you explore your feelings about major issues, such as finances, raising children and elder care, and provide conflict resolution tips to help you get your marriage off on the right foot.

After all, planning a wedding is a huge investment. Hopefully, you'll only have to do it once.

It's a bad idea to straighten your curly hair for your wedding, especially during the winter? It's more likely to frizz.

Hairstyles are going natural, rather than B-52s, and they're likely to hold up better that way?

Check out this article as you think about your wedding do.

I feel compelled to point out extreme examples of Bridezilla-itis.

One of my bridesmaids is the maid of honor in someone else’s summer wedding, which is hurtling toward her and her bank account at warp speed.

The bride has decided that she wants a Jack and Jill wedding shower, where EVERYONE invited to the wedding is also invited to the shower. Do the math and it comes up to be the price of a small wedding. Since the maid of honor is responsible for throwing the bridal shower, the expense and aggravation has landed squarely on her shoulders.

She’s made attempts to get the bridal party together, and they’ve balked at spending a minimum of $250 each for a bridal shower. There was a lot of brainstorming, a lot of talk about who could make what and an some kvetching about how much the bride expected.

However, my friend’s tale of woe doesn’t stop there. She then talked to the bride, who informed her that she didn’t want paper plates or a “backyard barbecue ghetto shower.” She also didn’t want a VFW (ghetto), a sheet cake (ghetto) or paper napkins (ghetto). She also expected a DJ and a wedding cake. I believe it was here that her head spun around and she spewed pea soup all over everyone.

Even more aggravating, rather than the bridal party talking to each other and calmly sitting down and talking to the bride, everyone is complaining only to each other, so nothing really changes.

Brides, take a lesson from this:

1. Your bridal party has limited funds. They’re already paying a lot to be in your wedding. Go easy on them.

2. By the time your ranting and raving like a lunatic and screaming, “They must eat wedding cake,” everyone will be too afraid of you to tell you you’re acting like a nut. So, it’s up to you to rein in your own behavior.

Ugh.

I took my first crack at looking at dresses today. I went to a seamstress who will design your gown for you, but has seperate pieces for you to try on -- As You Like It Bridal.

It wasn't really what I expected. The thing about wedding dresses: They all kind of look the same. So I keep trying on pieces and I keep looking the same. While the dressmaker could make the dress I found online, she didn't have a gown with a similar line to try on, so I would have had to order it and hope for the best. The cost was also a little more than I was bargaining for.

I stopped in at David's Bridal on D.W. Highway after that. They have some great deals if you're in the market for a traditional wedding dress. And if you're looking for something a little different or thinking of adding color, check out their bridesmaids gowns. Many of the full-length bridesmaids gowns are under $200 and many of them have beading, lace and multiple layers, so there's some great choices there for less money.

I still really like my original celtic dress, so I'm also going to be scouring the Nashua area for both dressmakers and bridal shops. If you know a good one, take a minute a post it here.

I'm about to embark on shopping for my wedding dress -- tomorrow. Not tomorrow as in "tomorrow never comes;" tomorrow as in I have an 11 a.m. appointment on Tuesday. Gulp. A friend's mother gave me a piece of advice: "Wear off-white. No sense in being a hypocrite."

I have gotten a few comments like this, embarking on my first wedding in my early 30s. But little do these pecking hens know, color is the new white, so to speak.

Many brides are choosing wine-colored or burgundy dresses (red-- the color of passion and love) or accenting their white or ivory dresses with colored sashes, some in colors that match the bridesmaids, others in colors that offset the bridesmaids dresses.

When you're shopping, get a dress that works for you. Everyone has a different body type, flaws they want to hide, assets they want to flaunt. A knowledgable bridal shop shouldn't be afraid to tell you when a dress makes you look lumpy, frumpy or just plain bad. If it's all about looking your best, then a bridal shop should be able to help you choose a flattering design. Fabric is also important. If you're trying to hide something, a clingy fabric, isn't your best friend. If you've been going to the gym religiously for the past year -- then, hey, get the clingiest fabric you can fine.

Here's what I like so far. Obviously, I'm not flying to Scotland to get a wedding dress, but I think the dress is beautiful. I'll let you know how it works out. Keep your fingers crossed.

If you're planning a big event for your wedding, you might want to look into wedding insurance.

Insurance will cover you for the something-goes-wrong type of wedding disaster, such as the place you're having yoru reception goes out of business; the life disaster, like death or dismemberment, and, if you're willing to pay extra, liability insurance, just in case something happens at your wedding.

What it won't cover is cold feet. If only. So if you or the groom drops out, you've lost the insurance fees on top of your deposits.

I think it's a great idea, especially if you're having a lavish wedding, someone in your family is ill, or you're planning a wedding that could run you into some liability. I'm not going to take the insurance route myself, since I have no funds to pay the fees and if anyone sued me, they'd get an old Susuki Forenza and an angry cat.

But I do think it's something a couple should consider. While you'd like to believe that your nearest and dearest friends wouldn't sue, it's always possible.

WedSafe can answer your questions about wedding insurance and give you some basic quotes. However, if you're looking to go local, here are some insurance companies in the Nashua area. According to yellowpages.com, all of these companies offer wedding insurance:

The Minuteman Group

Sadler Insurance Agency

McBriarty Insurance Agency

Slawsbury Insurance Agency

It's primary time, so I won't be blogging a lot today, but I couldn't resist sharing an article with all of you from a bride who planned her entire wedding online -- she was in Vegas and her wedding was in Scotland.

While she had a few mishaps along the way, and sometimes the wedding planning took twice as long, she ended up happy. It seems like, with a wedding in Scotland and a mom in Minnesota, it was a great way for her to share the experience with family members who were far away.

While nothing beats going to your reception hall and getting a feel for where your wedding is going to be, there is something to be said for the element of surprise; a "blind date" on her wedding the writer/bride calls it.

So it was a wedding weekend for me.

Saturday, I met with bridesmaids for the first time. Since I chose blue for my wedding color, yet want all the bridesmaids to be able to pick a dress that makes them comfortable, Ed’s daughters and I went to Home Depot and picked up paint samples to pass out. Each bridesmaid chose a different color blue, from light to dark, so there won’t be issues with the women trying to match colors and not quite making it work. The dresses are deliberately different shades of blue, but shades that all work together.

I also passed out folders that included hotel information, reception information, a list of bridesmaids with contact information and a complete guest list. Seriously, I looked like a CEO. But I do remember being a bridesmaid and trying to figure out how to reach various guests for a bridal shower or bachelorette party and just being completely flummoxed.

The bridesmaids all got along though, and they’re going to make special efforts to make sure that Ed’s daughters are included in the planning process. The girls had a blast, telling me over and over what nice friends I had.

Then Sunday, my mother and I went to a wedding expo in Massachusetts. There were a lot of vendors there, and that was a huge help. There’s nothing like being able to get a bunch of ideas and contact information in one stop.

My mother signed me up for all sorts of contests. If there was a chance I might win something, my mom happily handed over my name and address to anyone that asked. So I’ll be getting junk mail from my wedding until my 25th anniversary. If I actually win $25,000, then it will be worth it.

If you’re interested in checking when and where there will be a wedding expo in your area, click here.

Apparently creativity is the new trend for weddings in 2008. Fox Business reported that many brides are doing whatever they can to make guests sit up and take notice, from presto-chango outfits (as many as 3 per wedding!) to hiring 80s cover bands to play for the reception.

Trendy can also be expensive, so if you're looking to cut costs, figure out what trends fit into your budget. In theory, if it's you're wedding and you do what represent you as a couple, it should be memorable enough. But the reality is, you're probably under tremendous pressure to come up with a new and exciting idea. Check out The Knot. It's one-stop shopping and if you head over to the site now, they have a piece on the favorite weddings of 2007, so you might be able to steal some great ideas.

And just for fun . . . check out the world's ugliest bridesmaid dress.

New Hampshire Magazine has come out with their 2008 Bridal edition. It's definitely worth a look, especially for those getting married in New Hampshire.

Besides the usual article on trends, such as a brides who choose to have a more intimate photo taken for their grooms and boldly colored bridemaids dresses, the magazine also has advice on pre-nuptial agreements and links and information on New Hampshire vendors.

I especiall found the vendors list helpful. Although, I'm getting married in Portland, Maine, I want to purchase as much as I can locally. It's a great way to support local businesses, so definitely check out this magazine, or the Web site, and find out what's in your area.

If you've had a great (or horrible) experience with a vendor, let everyone know. Post a comment.

If you’re getting Married . . . with Children, a family ceremony may be the way to go.

I had never heard of such a thing, but an article in the Appleton (Wis.) Post Crescent alerted me to what I had been missing. It’s a family ceremony included after a couple’s wedding ceremony that reaffirms the children’s role in the family and the new couple’s life together. The children are given family medallions, three rings linked together to symbolize the family's love.

I think this is a great idea, especially for younger children. Ed has a son and two daughters, and sometimes I feel the girls may feel insecure with their role in our home, especially since they don’t live with us. I plan to talk to Ed and see how he feels about rounding out our commitment as a couple with a commitment as a family.