I have recently made a discovery in the world of bridal fashion. The circlet.

I’m sure many of you are rolling your eyes, but I am a little fashion . . . um . . . shall we say backward? More than the wedding dress I’ve been giving my headpiece some thought.

I know a tiara is not my style, and a veil is just an accident waiting to happen. I had considered wearing a wreath of flowers on by head, but I have very thick hair, which can get weighed down and look flat at the crown. I was hesitant to add more weight to my hair, fearing things would deflate mid-vow.

But now I have discovered the circlet. Essentially, a circlet is an old-fashioned crown with no cap used by the Celts. Think of what you’d typically see on a fairy queen. It’s elegant, simple can be as fancy or as simple as you wish and carries a whimsical tradition that’s just right for a wedding.

Here are a couple of Web sites I found with circlets from hundreds to just tens of dollars:

Dwarves Song - www.dwarvesong.com

Precious Plunder - www.preciousplunder.com

Sapphire & Sage - www.sapphireandsage.com

I just read an article from The Age, in Australia, (hooray Internet!) which took a look at the wedding from the groom’s perspective.

The article opens with a man talking about his friend, a groom-to-be, who’s dreading going home at the end of the day because he has to talk about serviette rings.

Enough said.

It’s important not to lose site of the each other in the whole wedding process. Hopefully, your memories of planning the wedding will be as much fun as the wedding itself. One of my friends has been married for three years, and if you get her started talking about her wedding, her eyes still light up.

Which reminds me of my ultimate Bridezilla story . . . .

Now is as good a time as any to introduce you to my sister-in-law, who was a raging Bridezilla; yes, with a capital “B.” (Realize that if anyone in my family was connected to the Internet, I would be in serious trouble right now.)

My standout memory of my brother’s wedding (other than the bride’s suggestion that I walk from her house to the wedding in full bridesmaid gear because there wasn’t enough room in the car for all the bridesmaids) was the rehearsal dinner.

Family members had spent all day decorating the reception hall, hoping the eye-catching results would be a happy surprise for the bride on her wedding day. Ready to relax at the rehearsal dinner, all the decorators spent a half hour trying to talk Bridezilla out of marching down to the hall to ensure the food on the buffet would be laid out in the right order. And they were all hors d'oeuvres. She actually had hysterics when her mother wouldn’t let her leave the rehearsal dinner. She pleaded that we blindfold her and take her to the hall. When she was refused, she immediately started scribbling the correct layout on a napkin and demanded her mother check the buffet before the guests arrived at the reception. Meanwhile, those of us who spent eight hours decorating the hall weren’t really feeling festive or appreciated as we sat down to dinner.

And a good time was had by all.

I really hope it’s not that hard. So far, Ed and I have been getting along pretty well. He’s had his annoyingly apathetic moment; I had my annoyingly zealous ones. But overall, the process has been pretty fun.

If you have had any freak out moments – or know friends who have – post a comment so the rest of us can enjoy your story.

Well, I’m back from Thanksgiving with a quart of my mom’s turkey soup in the fridge and a little vacation from wedding planning behind me.

I did read an interesting article, though, about music placement in the wedding ceremony on americanchronicle.com. This is something I haven’t actually given a lot of thought to, but the article says music can be used throughout the ceremony, not just for your walk down the aisle.

The article recommends music as a prelude to the reception and also says it can be used before or after the vows, during the lighting of the unity candle and softly in the background during a reading.

While I like the ideas, I’m not sure how I’ll work those in to a wedding on a boat. It’s unlikely that I’ll have room for a pianist or band, and I have been thinking about using classical CDs to play in the background during the cruise, but I hadn’t given any thought to music during the actual wedding. Are CDs acceptable for that too? I can only fit 149 people on the boat and I’d hate to cut guests off the list to fit musicians.

If anyone has any ideas, I’d love to hear them. What did you do for your wedding music?

On another note . . . .

I’ve booked Howard Johnson’s (I know, remember them?) for hotel guests, since they were willing to offer me the best rate at $89 per night. Booking the hotel is a real balancing act, since you have to consider finding a place that’s nice enough for older relatives to want to stay but doesn’t price friends out of the market and leave them sleeping in their cars.

So Ho Jo’s seemed the way to go. There’s an indoor pool for the guests, two restaurants and the rooms are standard, but look clean and comfortable, and I was able to bring the price in at under $100 per night.

If you’re looking at a destination wedding, call all the hotels in the area. When salespeople find you’re shopping around, they’re often willing to cut their price, especially if you have a big party.

I'm taking a couple of days off from blogging (and wedding planning) to enjoy the holidays.

 I'll be back blogging on Monday. Have a good one!

Ed and I attended Portland’s wedding expo last Friday. It was small, and we blew through it in just about two hours. But I’m glad we went. Having a destination wedding of sorts, it allowed us to meet with several representatives from hotels around Portland and talk with them face-to-face about group rates.

I wish we had checked into hotels before booking our reception venue. Most of the hotels within walking distance from the reception rang in at $200 per night for a basic room. These hotels were not willing to give us a group rate, despite our requiring at least 20 rooms.

The issues are that we’re not holding the event at the hotel, and Sept. 20 is on the verge of foliage season. One hotel representative told us he wasn’t even sure if he had 20 rooms left for the weekend, since the hotel is usually completely full by December.

However, some of the hotels in South Portland are 10 minutes away from the downtown and willing to cut a group rate of $100-$140 per night for guests. Although I have to make some calls this week, Ed and I think we’re going to go with the Fairfield Inn in South Portland. The woman we talked to was willing to reserve 10 rooms and keep a continual check on how many were rented. If they fill up, she’ll put more rooms aside. Plus, she will release unrented rooms one month before the wedding, so Ed and I bear no responsibility for rooms that don’t get reserved. I was impressed with the level of service offered by the Fairfield Inn. The representative said if we wanted to make gift baskets, she’d be willing to pass them out at the check-in counter or put them in guests’ rooms. A nice idea and one I hadn’t thought of.

I would have liked my wedding guests to be able to park their car at the hotel and not have to worry for the rest of the weekend. However, there are several parking garages in the downtown, and most of my family and friends are on a budget. Therefore, they’d appreciate a less expensive hotel more than being walking distance from the reception. Frankly, there’s not many people in my family who would pay more money to walk anywhere.

Some of the hotels I spoke with called the group rate a “social rate” rather than a “rom block.” The difference being a block is a group of rooms considered reserved, and if guests don’t book them, the bride and groom must pay for the extra rooms. The social rate is a discounted rate offered to guests when they call to reserve a room. The bride and groom bear no responsibility, since the rooms are held, rather than reserved, until they’re actually booked by the guests.

New York’s local news is offering up wedding advice on their Web site ww2.7online.com.

There’s some great advice on big mistakes you can make in planning your wedding, such as planning before the guest list, freaking our about the small stuff and driving the groom nuts with any idea you had.

This point about the guest list is spot on. I though Ed and I were going to have a small wedding. About 70 or so friends and family gathered to help us celebrate the big day. Little did I realize I had 200 family members all on my own. Never let it be said that I’m an underachiever.

That complete changed everything about the reception, from venues that we looked at and plate prices we thought we could afford to the guest list itself, where it was pretty obvious that some cutting was needed.

We opted to go the no-kids route, except immediate family – Ed’s children and nieces and nephews. Since the pub requires anyone under 21 to leave at 9 p.m., we also have a built-in excuse to advise parents to keep the children at home. In all, we have space for 150 people. I’ve heard that you can count on 20-25 percent of the invitees to refuse the invitation, so that means we can invite 200 people and still come in near our target.

I recently read a press release that said pashminas are the latest rage in bridal attire. Okay, I know, it’s a press release; take it with a grain of salt. But it did get me thinking . . .

These light cashmere shawls are a great for spring, fall and winter weddings. They come in a variety of weights and colors. For a winter wedding a rich red or green could set off a plain white gown beautifully. Since I’m getting married on a boat, a little something to keep the chill off and add a touch of color would definitely be welcome. I found a midnight blue pashmina – what they call a “ring” pashmina, so light it will fit through the ring you wear on your finger. And my wedding ring happens to be made of sapphires.

I may even get these for my bridesmaids a gifts instead of the traditional jewelry. I have one friend who is always cold, so bundling her up in a shawl would be a fantastic way to thank her for being in the wedding.

Pashmina actually refers to the wool the shawls are made of. It comes from the chin and underbelly of goats raised in the Himalayas. Pure Pashmina is actually rough and goes through a softening process, so it’s often called cashmere. But it’s actually from Tibet, not Kashmir.

Most Pashmina wraps are a combination of Pashmina and silk. They standard ply is the two-ply. A single-ply is ideal for warmer days and usually has more silk.

A top-quality Pashmina wrap usually costs around $200. But wraps can be found for under $100.

If you’re interested in looking at Pashminas online, check out:

www.thepashminastore.com

www.pashminaboutique.com

There was a great article on MSN lifestyles this week: “10 Biggest Mistakes Wedding Guests Make.”

Some of these issues had me trembling in my veil: Guests that invite others to your wedding, don’t RSVP at all or showing up late (as in walking down the aisle right behind the bride). But some on the list – giving a long toast, requesting a song the bride doesn’t like – serves as a reminder not to turn into a complete Bridezilla. After all, your guests are supposed to be there to help you celebrate, not to watch you celebrate. Let them have a little bit of fun too. And if that means doing the Locomotion, so be it.

But this article also offers ups some good ideas for controlling guests: Mainly sacrificing the best man or maid of honor while you party on and relying on the DJ’s help to cut short that never-ending toast. It’s worth checking out the lifestyles section of MSN. You may be horrified, but at least you’ll be prepared.

Also noteworthy: There’s a wedding expo this Sunday in Springfield, Mass., 10:30 a.m.-4 p.m. at the MassMutual Center. $7 at the door. www.nebridalshow.com for more info.

I’ve discovered a little dress shop in Bolton, Mass., that will make your wedding dress for you.

What makes this shop so special is the pieces of the wedding dress are already there – think of it as trying on a bikini; you mix and match the top and bottom to create a wedding dress that’s uniquely you. However, unlike a bikini, you don’t just buy the pieces and take it home. You work with the seamstress on color, fabric, details – the works to create one whole dress. The pieces (which come in several sizes) merely allow you to see how the completed dress will look on you before you order. So no more trying on the infamous one-size-doesn’t-fit-all dresses.

I love the idea of being able to assemble my own dress, then having it custom made. I’ve checked into the process, and, according to the shop’s Web site, the average dress runs $700-$2,500. I think many brides pay al least $700 for an off-the-rack dress, especially when you figure in alterations.

I’m definitely planning on starting my dress shopping there.

Ed and I have set a wedding date: Sept. 20, 2008.

So it’s real. We’re getting married. We’ve got a reception hall – or a reception pub – and a wedding date. Yikes!

Now I’m at a loss as to what to do next. A coworker who was married just a few years ago recommended that I hop online and grab one of those to-do lists. She recommended The Perfect Wedding Guide (http://www.theperfectweddingguide.com/bride_list.html). It’s out of Toronto, but a checklist is pretty much universal. I was relieved to find that even though I’m wandering in the dark, I’m pretty much on schedule.

One year before the wedding I’m supposed to:

n Determine potential dates and times for my wedding.

n Decide on the size, formality and setting of my wedding.

n Create a wedding and engagement budget.

n Reserve the locations for my wedding and reception.

n Meet with and book my wedding officiant or clergy. (Still working on this one.)

n Choose my wedding party and confirm the participants.

n Choose my wedding rings.

n Draw up an initial guest list.

n Organize my engagement party. (Opted out of this one.)

Now, I’m in the 9-12 month phase of the planning. Over the next three months, I’ll be:

n Order my wedding dress and attendants’ attire.

n Book my photographer and videographer.

n Reserve a caterer.

n Arrange for decor, chair covers and linens.

n Book your live entertainment or DJ.

n Reserve my florist.

n Order my wedding cake.

n Reserve any rental items from the rental company.

n Register my gift choices at my favorite stores. (I think I may opt out of this one.)

n Research accommodations for out-of-town guests.

n Plan my honeymoon.

Well, it’s done. Unbelievable as it may be, Ed and I have finally settled on a reception venue.

We’re heading up to Portland, Maine, at the end of September 2008. We’ll be getting married on a boat (the Casablanca), which will cruise around Casco Bay for two hours. After the actual wedding, guests will be able to enjoy the cruise and munch hors d'oeuvres at a cocktail reception. Once we get off the boat, we’ll head a block up the street to Bull Feeney’s, an Irish pub. We’ve rented the top floor, and we’ll have a casual buffet reception. Even better, the pub does live music at 9:30, so guests can stay, listen to the band and keep partying.

Portland is a really neat old, waterfront New England city – boats in the bay, old brick sidewalks, little shops and restaurants in alleys waiting to be discovered – a great weekend away. It’s a great city for a destination wedding, much closer than the Bahamas, so people can actually go, but far enough away that they have the choice to make a weekend of it.

More than anything, what makes Portland a great place for a wedding is the Portland Convention & Visitors Bureau. Their Web site, www.visitportland.com, has a special section for brides, and they offer all kinds of helpful planning services, from a wedding expo to vendor recommendations. The woman I spoke to, Rachel Cobb, has even offered to contact all of the area’s hotels and ask them to send me rates on a room block for guests.

While I expected to have to contact each and every hotel in Portland and try to hammer out the best deal for guests, Rachel took care of it all. She told them how many rooms I’d be looking to block off, dates of the wedding and my e-mail address. Now hotels can e-mail me their proposals and I can just sit back and review them. How easy is that?

Honestly, I feel like I got a wedding planner for free.

Nov. 16, Portland’s tourism bureau is having a trade show, full of the city’s vendors. If Maine is a place you might consider for your wedding, you can hop on www.visitportland.com and register to attend. And, even better, it’s free.

Well, it’s done. Unbelievable as it may be, Ed and I have finally settled on a reception venue.

We’re heading up to Portland, Maine, at the end of September 2008. We’ll be getting married on a boat (the Casablanca), which will cruise around Casco Bay for two hours. After the actual wedding, guests will be able to enjoy the cruise and munch hors d'oeuvres at a cocktail reception. Once we get off the boat, we’ll head a block up the street to Bull Feeney’s, an Irish pub. We’ve rented the top floor, and we’ll have a casual buffet reception. Even better, the pub does live music at 9:30, so guests can stay, listen to the band and keep partying.

Portland is a really neat old, waterfront New England city – boats in the bay, old brick sidewalks, little shops and restaurants in alleys waiting to be discovered – a great weekend away. It’s a great city for a destination wedding, much closer than the Bahamas, so people can actually go, but far enough away that they have the choice to make a weekend of it.

More than anything, what makes Portland a great place for a wedding is the Portland Convention & Visitors Bureau. Their Web site, www.visitportland.com, has a special section for brides, and they offer all kinds of helpful planning services, from a wedding expo to vendor recommendations. The woman I spoke to, Rachel Cobb, has even offered to contact all of the area’s hotels and ask them to send me rates on a room block for guests.

While I expected to have to contact each and every hotel in Portland and try to hammer out the best deal for guests, Rachel took care of it all. She told them how many rooms I’d be looking to block off, dates of the wedding and my e-mail address. Now hotels can e-mail me their proposals and I can just sit back and review them. How easy is that?

Honestly, I feel like I got a wedding planner for free.

Nov. 16, Portland’s tourism bureau is having a trade show, full of the city’s vendors. If Maine is a place you might consider for your wedding, you can hop on www.visitportland.com and register to attend. And, even better, it’s free.