So I’ve done it. I’ve scheduled more appointments to look at reception halls.

Saturday, Ed and I are heading to Boston to check out a riverboat, an American Legion hall and the New England Aquarium.

Each facility has some plusses. The American Legion is a definite possibility. It costs a mere $400 to rent the facility, which is on the Charles River and has an open patio. The riverboat would allow Ed and I to get married as we cruise down the Charles at sunset. The aquarium would provide entertainment for all the kids.

Be wary of hidden costs when choosing your reception site. Many places require that you purchase the food from them at anywhere from $30-$100 a plate, then charge you an additional site fee – some as much as $4,000 – to have your reception there. That’s like ordering food, then paying to sit and eat it! Others will throw in an additional fee if you get married on-site.

Ed and I are sticking to reception halls that either have no site fee or will allow us to bring in a caterer from the outside, such as the Legion.

We also have some concerns about renting a boat for four hours. It seems like a cool idea, but then people are trapped on the boat for the entire reception. They can’t leave early if they have to get up in the morning. They can’t leave if there kids are acting up. They can’t leave if they get seasick. We’re all bound together in their misery, so to speak. It would definitely be a reception where you’re in it for the long haul. I love the idea, but with a lot of older people in my family, I’m not sure that everyone’s going to want to party all night.

The Aquarium offers a compromise. Ed and I could rent a boat for an hour, get married on it and have a short cocktail reception. Then, we could all head back to shore for the main meal and some great views, and people can take off whenever they want.

But I think I would feel funny serving seafood as the entrée.

This is getting embarrassing. Ed and I haven’t looked at a reception hall since July. We have one day a week off together, and it seems on that day one or the other of us has picked up some overtime. Hence, no reception hall.

So to keep busy, I’ve begun doing some research on wedding gowns. I found some interesting deals online. Dresses can be had for as little as $50 if you’re willing to go for a used gown. A search on eBay returned over 1,000 wedding dresses for sale, most of them far less than the typical bridal shop prices. A simple Google search for cheap wedding dresses will bring up a list of sites and eBay, Craig’s List and Indie Bride are all great places to start.

Of course, buying online, while easy on the wallet does come with some sacrifices. You lose the opportunity to take your mom, your maid of honor and, in my case, Ed’s two daughters wedding dress shopping. You also lose the opportunity to try on the dress before you buy it, free alterations and the chance to just have a girls’ day out.

On the plus side, you will never have to go through the embarrassment of trying to squeeze into the sample sizes, nor will you be subjected to everyone in the store staring at you while you model wedding gowns.

I did some Internet research, culling the best advice I could on surfing the net in your bridal gown. I came up with some great advice, which I’ll pass on:

• Research the type of dress you want. Even if you think you’re going to buy online, head to bridal shops, try on a variety of gowns and determine ahead of time which style suits you. Do some price shopping while you’re at it. No sense in paying new prices for a used gown.
• Keep in mind when buying online, you will need to budget for the extras, such as petticoats, a veil, shoes and, most of all, at least one professional fitting before you walk down the aisle. Make sure the dress is still a steal when you add in all the extra costs.
• Have your measurements at the ready so when you’re online shopping, you can tell at a glance if the dress is your size.
• Look at as many pictures of the gown as the seller will send you. Now is the time to ask any questions you have – like will you get the gown before your wedding?
• Use a safe-trader system like PayPal to make sure you get your merchandise.
• Start early. Leave yourself enough time to find another gown, just in case.

If any brides out there have bought a gown online – or have other great money-saving ideas for bridal attire, send them along. I’d love to hear from you.

I read this article in a Canadian newspaper (online, of course) about a couple that had a cheesecake wedding cake.

YUM!

Okay, I’m a huge cheesecake fan, so I didn’t really need an article to get me thinking this way. However, I had about a second’s hesitation about my dream of a huge wedding cheesecake (maybe each layer a different flavor . . . ) when Ed’s youngest daughter flatly declared, “I don’t like cheesecake.”

While I know wedding cake isn’t part of a well-balanced diet, but Emily got me thinking about all the other people, like my dad, who have no interest whatsoever in cheesecake. As unbelievable as it seems to me.

I also have a lot of diabetics in the family, so I’m thinking of some asking a pastry chef to create some sugar-free brownies or cake to serve to those who aren’t partaking of my cheesy wedding cake. With the advent of Splenda, sugar-free baked goods are reaching whole new heights of tastiness.

If you’re thinking about trying something a little different for your wedding, go for it. It’s your cake. And they do say the bride doesn’t even taste the wedding dinner, so all the more reason to have a great cake. It could be the only think you eat at your wedding.

However, if you are going to take the path less traveled, consider a dessert table to accommodate small children, diabetics and those with plain tastes. Your guests will thank you.

A quick note to Tricia who wrote in last week and anyone else who wants to share tips and ideas about weddings, saving money and having a blast, feel free to post your ideas as a comment  on the blog or e-mail me at droberson@nashuatelegraph.com. Good luck with your wedding!

And Michael . . .  Good point about the DJ! If anyone out there knows how much a DJ should cost, I'm all ears!

Last week, I talked about some of the elements that go into a great wedding. This week I have suggestions from friends and co-workers as to what definitely doesn’t work at a wedding.

Topping the list – hold on to your hats, now – is the Chicken Dance. As one coworker said, “That thing should have been put to rest a LONG time ago.”

I would actually say that goes for all of those step dances. While none is quite so embarrassing as the Chicken Dance, they’re all pretty awful, especially if you don’t know the steps. Each generation busts out with it’s own Electric Slide, Macarena or whatever it happens to be. If you’re not of that generation – or you’re just trying to put a bad memory to rest – these dances can be awkward at best.

I remember one wedding in particular that played The Electric Slide. All the women my age squealed, resurrected their high school days and, unfortunately dragged me along in the tidal wave of yesterday, I stood up there, punching my fist futilely in the air, trying to simultaneously follow along and tap into banished high school gym class memories, praying for the fabled large hole in the ground that supposedly swallows people when they most need it.

So, no, the Chicken Dance isn’t the best idea you’ve ever had. Here are some other no-nos:

n The bridal bouquet – an ugly tradition. Alright, I know you probably won’t give up tossing the bouquet, but consider this: “One wedding I went to, all the girls who were grouped up to catch it, none of them put their hands up and it dropped to the floor.”

n “One thing I didn’t like about one of my friends weddings was that they had someone singing during the ceremony. Like they stopped everything and we listened to her sing. It was just awkward and very random... I think singing should just be at the reception...”

n Keep your guests dressed . . . appropriately. “I was at a wedding recently, and when we got to the reception some of the guesses had changed into ‘comfortable’ clothing. I think that this is wrong. One person even had jeans and a sweatshirt on. If it is such an imposition to dress up, then don’t go. The bride and groom and others work so hard to have a memorable, beautiful day. It should be about them. These people actually were in some pictures I saw and the pictures as far as I am concerned were horrible. Again, people should stay home if they are so imposed about ‘dressing’ up.  A simple blouse and nice pair of pants would do.”

n Consider your bouquet carefully, especially in the summer. One friend went to a wedding where the bride ended up trying to dodge a bee while saying her vows.

n Think about your centerpieces as well, advises one newly-married woman. “The best advice I can give is DO NOT have a centerpiece on tables that fall over easy. Someone always bumps the table and things go flying!”

n Rethink the how sentimental you want your wedding to be, said one coworker, who very plainly opined, “Do not have some folk wannabe strum guitar and sensitively sing Paul Stookey’s awful ‘Wedding Song,’ or whatever it is called, unless you want to watch your guests alternate between: (1) trying not to puke or (2) trying not to collapse into guffaws.

n Watch your drinking, advised one wedding guest, “Do not, as a friend of mine claimed he did at his own wedding – well, at the subsequent reception – drunkenly deck the best man ... who happened to be own brother.”

Enough said.

Last week I e-mailed friends and coworkers and asked them to send me ideas from weddings they really enjoyed as well as ideas from weddings that weren’t so fun. I got some great ideas:

• Have the ceremony and reception at the same venue: It eliminates drive time and keeps the celebration momentum going after the ceremony.
• Take dance lessons; it’s great entertainment value for crowd
• Keep the photo shoot to a minimum, your guests are waiting!
• “My cousin just got married in Michigan a couple months ago. They had a huge dessert station inside the mansion. (It was the most fancy wedding I've seen – apparently Eminem got married there, the second time.) The whole room was filled with tables that had lots and lots of desserts. This was in addition to the wedding cake.”
• Use local flowers and produce from the farmers market, supporting local businesses.
• Try a simple 2 layer cake decorated with real flowers
• One wedding included a row boat ride after the ceremony for the couple to have private time
• Use real dishes not plastic; they’re better for the environment and look nicer.
• Instead of favors, donate money to a charity in your guests’ name.
• One wedding party included kayaking the day before for all invited guests and softball the day after for all invited guests.
• Make your guests sing to get the couple to kiss at the reception instead of clinking glasses.