Since people are getting married later and often set up housekeeping for the big day, china is falling by the wayside as brides register for what they really want.

It’s a tough call. Some couples are registering for down payments on houses and honeymoons instead of at department stores. That can leave some people feeling just as if they were asked to give money. Other relatives may feel happy to give you something they know you want.

Ed and I didn’t register at all. We have lived together for two years and we pretty much have everything we need in the kitchen and we’re out of room. Fancy china may be nice, but not so much if it’s in a storage container.

Most experts agree not registering is bad form because you leave your guests wondering what to get, so I wouldn’t suggest that you follow my lead. But the thought of having to choose colors and patterns on a bunch of things I didn’t really want in the first place was too depressing.

However, if you are trying to decide where to register, you might want to consider the things that are really important to you. If you and your groom need things to set up house together, then a traditional registry should work just fine. If you’d rather see the money go to a honeymoon, you may risk offending older relatives with this new trend. You might want to consider registering at two places and make one of them a traditional department store with just a few items listed for those who are uncomfortable helping you pay for your honeymoon.

Part of the problem is if your guests are offended by being asked to contribute to a honeymoon, chances are you’ll be the last to know. Even the etiquette experts are divided on what’s genteel bridal behavior.