I went to a party this weekend and ended up in the kitchen (where else?) talking with two women – one who had been married for more than 20 years and another who recently got married.

Over the finger foods, the older woman remembered the urgency she felt to get married . . . her husband proposed to her a mere three months after they met, and she planned her wedding in three days. “There was such an urgency to it,” she said. “Looking back now, I don’t know what the big deal was, but we just felt that we had to get married right away.”

The more recent bride, said she too, planned her wedding in a weekend. She and her husband were racing against time, hoping his terminally-ill mother would be able to attend their wedding, scheduled six months after the engagement. They lost the race, but the wedding memories are still wonderful, she said.

Yet here I sit, six months after my engagement, unable to book a reception hall. While every bride I’ve talked to had a picture of their wedding day in their head, I seemed to have wasted my time as a little girl playing Atari and wandering around the neighborhood engrossed in a rich fantasy life full of adventure, but not weddings.

Several times I have watched women exchange silent, skeptical looks, when I say I simply don’t know what I want. Read: “Does she really want to marry this guy? Her heart doesn’t seem in it.”

The thing is, I love Ed too much to get married just anywhere.

I believe there are contingents of women out there that simply haven’t figured out their wedding day yet. Not because we don’t love our fiancés, but because there are so many great ideas out there, it’s nearly impossible to settle on just one.

I do know what I want: I want to celebrate with an event that’s unusual and special. I want something memorable and fun. I want it to have the unmistakable stamp of Ed’s and my personalities. I just haven’t found that place yet.

Ed and I checked out another reception hall on Webster (Mass.) Lake last week. While the venue was beautiful, it looked like a place you would expect to attend a wedding reception. It was perfect. Too perfect. It lacked personality.

But I haven’t given up hope. Instead, I have found a great Web site – eventective.com. And advanced search option allows you to enter all your criteria – state, number of people, type of venue – and the site will list all of your options, complete with contact information.

So far, I’ve found a cruise company in Portland, Maine, that will ferry you out to a secluded island, where you can host a clambake. Now that has personality!