It’s been awhile since popular musicians last harnessed the transformative power of the cheesy ballad for a good cause. Although this was made as a parody when aid songs were still in vogue, it’s only a matter of time before aging rockstars unite on their own behalf. Man, "Axl" plays a mean sandwich.

How can you sleep at night knowing that, somewhere, an aging rockstar might be driving a Volvo station wagon? Please. Dig deep. Our operators are standing by. But don’t call after ten, because they’ll be asleep.