When celebrities spend a little too much time in the limelight, they inexplicably develop a raging desire to design their own clothing line.

Go ahead, celebrities. Flex your creative muscles. I have only one request: Please refrain from describing your collection as appealing, affordable, or appropriate for the rest of us workaday stiffs. Because really, they’re not, and Mom always said you shouldn’t say things that aren’t true.

Check out samples from the self-designed collections of Heidi Montag and Lauren Conrad of "The Hills" fame and see for yourself. The sad thing is, both of these young ladies have attended fashion school and worked in the industry.

Lauren’s line has more of a high-fashion flair, so it’s easier to forgive that none of her pieces would work for, say, the office. Except for one cute strapless black dress with ruffles down the front, though, most of the dresses are of unflattering cuts unless you’re a toothpick and too bare (or short) to even work for a nice dinner out.

Heidi, however, makes the statement that her clothes are affordably priced (the most expensive item is $60, which I feel I can safely say is pushing it for many of us) and that they’re "fun and flirty for the everday woman."

I’ll admit that a few of the dresses are cute, but they’re a little impractical for everyday wear. Getting breast implants appears to have clouded Heidi’s judgment as to how much fabric a bodice requires to conceal a reasonably supportive bra.

Real ones don’t stay up by themselves, Heidi, and most "everyday women" are not going to wrangle with a strapless, backless, plunge bra (do they even make those?) every morning before work. Couldn’t you design a nice little cardigan to go over the dresses? You know, add a little of that "day to night" appeal that "What Not to Wear" is always talking about?

Also: Most women do tend to wear underwear with their shorts and pants. Cutting the legs high and the waistbands low, respectively, makes that a challenge.

Methinks Heidi is in need of a bit of a reality check regarding her collection. Fun? O.K. Flirty? Sure. Functional? Oops, I knew we forgot something.

She also has a new line of club wear that will be released this coming fall, but that seems to be the only place you could wear it. Perhaps she should study some offices outside of California before her next attempt at making fashion accessible to the "everyday woman."