» Coming soon to a theatre near you? :: The Pop Diner

Jul102007

Coming soon to a theatre near you?

Filed under Uncategorized by teresa santoski at 11:58 am

The gentlemen over at Penny Arcade would make money hand over fist if ever they went into movie development. But still, I'd be a little freaked out to see this childhood memory on the silver screen.

At the time, Teddy Ruxpin was one high-tech teddy bear - or Illiop, as the Ruxpin mythos went. You put a cassette tape in his back, flip his switch, and he comes to life (or at least his face does), narrating whatever adventure of his is on the tape while you cuddle him and read along with the book provided. Hey, he can even replace Mom and Dad at bedtime, telling you stories in the dark until you fall asleep. What a great toy for a small impressionable child. Good, clean, innocent fun, right?

Well, after a short period of the aforementioned fun, something went drastically wrong with the inner mechanisms of my Teddy Ruxpin. When you put in a tape and flipped his switch, his voice came out all slow and distorted and his eyes rolled back in his head like he was auditioning for the part of Linda Blair's favorite toy. After a while, he wouldn't even play tapes anymore - he just made this really creepy metallic gnashing sound.

I understood on some level that Teddy Ruxpin was broken but that didn't stop me from also thinking he might be evil. He was unceremoniously banished to the back of my closet. Sorry, but I'm not going to listen to bedtime stories from a teddy bear that sounds like he wants to eat my brains.

I also had a stuffed Gizmo for a while. When I get home tonight, I'm going to ask my parents what the heck they were thinking.

Gizmo! Do not feed him after midnight, do not get him wet, and for the love of all that is good and holy, please don't let him drive.

Gizmo was an adorable, cuddly toy until I found out what happened to him should you break the cardinal rules of Mogwai care. Putting him on closet lockdown wasn't enough - he was forced to move into my parents' room.

Memories like these convince me that in spite of my parents' assertions to the contrary, I was the practice child.

If you swing by The A.V. Club, you can check out their entertaining list of which Hasbro properties Michael Bay (director of the new Transformers movie) should take a crack at next.

Personally, I would like to see the Popples make a comeback. How about you guys? Which childhood memory would you like to see on the big screen?

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not the great banana 2 years ago 1 point
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Teresa, you've seen your father raise your younger siblings and you *still* wonder what they were thinking? :) (I remember that story where your dad gave your little sister heavy metal-- which I first typed as mental, and I think that heavy mental would be a great musical genre-- to listen to or something. And then he remarked to you, "Oh. Now I get it. It's *my* fault that you're so weird." XD)

I don't think my childhood memories belong on the screen. I like them where they are: IN MY MEMORIES.

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Teresa 2 years ago 1 point
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Good point. I was the only third-grader who knew the chorus to "Feed My Frankenstein." That should've told me something right there.

Oh, come on - some of your memories would make marvelous animated features. It's not from childhood, but what about "The Adventures of Winnie the Boo?" That's a summer blockbuster if I ever I heard of one. ;)

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Okey Oyunu 7 months ago 1 point
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Very good, congratulations article

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http://www.okeytr.net/