While Paris supporters have been trying to milk sympathy to the Hilt-on, another petition is officially asking California Governor Schwarzenegger  to Terminate the plague of Parisit-ism. Free Paris or Paris Free? Maybe now people can have a choice.

THE PARIS PETITION

We, the people of Earth, humbly beseech Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger – (whom we've loved ever since he first meted out savage justice in Conan The Barbarian) - to take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to rid our planet of the pestilence known as "Paris Hilton."

We ask that the Governor consider not only Ms Hilton's repeated drink driving offences but that he also take into account her numerous crimes against humanity, such as, but not limited to:

- Desecrating the English language;

- Making grainy homemade porn a cultural touchstone;

- Not dying soon enough in "House Of Wax. "

- The lyrics, "Those other guys all wanna take me for a ride/But when I walk they talk of suicide/Some people never get beyond their stupid pride" in her "song" Stars Are Blind  - (that proves beyond a doubt the corporate labels are not about music)

As people bombarded relentlessly with Ms Hilton's image and vapid proclamations, we request that the lamentations of this woman should last 45 years.  (In fairness, we recommend that she should be eligible for parole five years from the day that the last teen utters the words "That's hot" or "Like, whatever")

         Respectfully, The People Of A Paris-Polluted Planet

                    http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/45yearsforParis/

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Last I checked, this petition only had 111 signatures. Maybe she is more popular than most of us would like to believe.

I have yet to read the most recent issue of InTouch (that magazine is like junk food for the brain - zero nutritional value, yet surprisingly addictive), but the cover proclaims that Paris is "scared of jail." No, really? She has good reason to be. Her fellow prisoners will either dislike her intensely because of her undeserved wealth and privilege or, um, really, really like her.

I think it's also safe to say that this is the first situation she (or her family) hasn't been able to get herself out of. Maybe she'll learn her lesson and stop driving drunk once she sees what prison is like for the common man. And while I'm dreaming, I would also like a pony.

What will InTouch and all the other gossip rags do without any Paris-related coverage for a month and a half? I imagine the editors have started a collective pool to see who will do the time on Paris' behalf to keep their publications from going under. I feel bad for this year's crop of interns.