Search for new and used cars from NH dealers.
web feeds

Mobile

Apr052007

The upside of cancer

Filed under Uncategorized by jennifer o'callaghan at 12:59 pm

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of catching a snippet of "Bosom Buddies," a joint project by author Jodi Picoult and director Leah Carey in which breast cancer survivors from the Hanover area wrote about their experiences and performed monologues about them as a traveling troupe. The women were included as part of the annual NH Theatre Awards, and it remains my most enduring positive memory of that event, which is already in and of itself pretty awesome.

"The good thing about getting breast cancer," I remember one woman telling the audience, "is that you no longer have to worry about getting cancer. Guess what? You've got it."

I thought of that moment when I saw this article in that other Telegraph, "Does anyone believe cheery reminisces about cancer?" 

I never really thought about cancer memoirs like that before, but I can relate to the expectation of humor and courage going hand in hand. My mom is one of the bravest women I know, and yet when I was younger and she had her first exacerbation from multiple sclerosis, I wondered why she wasn't handling it with the wit of Erma Bombeck, which I now recognize as utterly unfair.

I remember catching a one-man show on HBO several years ago, Paul Linke's Time Flies When You're Alive, and being utterly crushed when I realized Chex, his beloved Francesca Draper, actually died. There was no happy ending, no matter how witty she had been, how loving he had been, what crazy adventures in alternative medicine they endured. It was a knockout performance, human and flawed and utterly real.

Seeing Linke's performance taught me to go easier on my mother, as odd as that sounds, to understand that there is no incorrect way to deal with a diagnosis that, as Moir puts it, roars into your life like a freight train. I read chipper tales of beating back cancer and other diseases now understanding that a lot of the fear and pain might be hiding below the surface, or exorcised as a therapeutic measure for the author. In any case, I don't know that cheery reminisces are truly for anyone other than the writer.

Viewing 2 Comments

    • ^
    • v

    As a thre-time cancer survivor I have some pretty strong opinions about this. There are indeed some funny things about having cancer - like the time in the hospital I was given so much marinol - the pill form of marijuana - that the nice nurse who had to draw my blood every few hours morphed into a vampire. No kidding. She was saying "I need to take some more blood," and I was hearing, "I need to suck your blood." To top it all off she sounded just like Fran Drescher of Nanny fame, So I was being haunted by the undead from Brooklyn. Of course this was only funny in hindsight - but here's the thing. Do a favor to yourself and loved ones who might get diagnosed. Don't tell them if they just have the right attitude they'll do better. What that says to us when we aren't doing well, is that we didn't try hard enough when the reality is that cancer is really, rough. I'm not saying a good attitude isn't helpful, but trust me when your hair is falling out, your child cries every time you go to the hospital and your throwing up every ten minutes, there's not much to laugh about.

    • ^
    • v
    Very good, congratulations article

Trackbacks

close Reblog this comment
Powered by Disqus · Learn more
blog comments powered by Disqus