This morning, it was semi-sunny on my drive in to work, which meant I dealt with the wonders of windshield glare all the way down the highway. This sudden influx of light into my Uick also led to the discovery that my resident spider has overstepped his bounds and spun a web across the inside of my windshield.

I generally refrain from killing bugaboos unless they intrude on my personal space. I can peacefully share my bathroom with a spider until he tries to join me in the shower. Then, he will die a thousand painful deaths.

Well, two deaths, more accurately. The death of squishing and the death of flushing.

The same goes for my bedroom, unless it's a moth. I saw the cover for The Silence of the Lambs at the video store when I was really young, and ever since then, I've been petrified that moths are going to try to land on my mouth and suffocate me.

You'd think I'd be more concerned about them getting tangled in my hair, but I already have my neurosis in place and I'm sticking with it, thank you very much.

Therefore, all moths must die. Instantly. My fly swatter (which is by far the most useful birthday present I've ever received) has begun to curl because it has dispatched so many moths to meet their Maker.

Oh, except for luna moths, because they're so beautiful, and they're so big, they might grab my fly swatter and whack me one with it for offing all their friends.

Anyway, when I discovered Mr. Spider hanging out on the driver's side mirror of my Uick (for an explanation of my car type, please see this entry), I was lenient. He was on the outside of my car, after all, so what were the chances he'd still be there after I got to my destination?

Very good, actually. Mr. Spider and I have been driving buddies for several seasons now. He sits all nestled up between the driver's side mirror and the nice warm car (which no doubt has helped him make through a couple of winters) and  just enjoys the ride.

Mr. Spider is rather terrible at assisting with lane changes, and he can also be quite the motormouth if you get him started on the 2008 election, but we get along very well. And if all else fails, I can drown him out quite easily by turning up my CD player.

He has popped into my car a few times just to say hello, but this is the first I knew that he was planning to take up residence inside the Uick.

What should I do? I don't want to destroy the new home he's worked so hard on (and possibly him with it), but it can be distracting when it's sunny and I'm driving and there's all these threads fluttering in front of me. I can't even see it unless it's in direct sunlight, though, so it would even be difficult to dispose of safely.

Mr. Spider, how can you put me in this awkward position after all we've been through? If you had asked, I would gladly have let you use one of the backseat windows.

I wonder what Dear Abby would have to say about this.