October is just replete with holidays. Two weeks ago we had Boss' Day, tomorrow we have Halloween, but today, oh, today, we have Bring Yourself To Work Day.

More reliable news from our stalwart friends at The Onion. I'm really glad I remembered to bring myself to work today - otherwise I would've missed out on the festivities. You'd be amazed at how easy it is to get all confused and accidentally send a small stuffed animal in your place while you stay in bed. It happens more often than you think - that's why you always get put on hold when you call for loan consolidation assistance, tech support, etc. Stuffed animal hands are not very good with telephone interfaces.

Just in case your place of employment hasn't prepared a fun-filled day of activities, here are some suggestions to help you and your coworkers celebrate in style.

Toilet paper and paper towels can be torn into itty-bitty pieces and used in place of confetti. If you want up the ante with colored confetti, sneak into the executive washroom - they might have colored toilet paper or, even better, patterened paper towels.

Buy a Twinkie from the cafeteria vending machine. Bend a paper clip so it's straight. Stick a small eraser on one end of the paper clip, then jab the other end into the Twinkie. Repeat until you have decorated said Twinkie to your satisfaction. Now you have your own personal very special office cake. Yay! You can even make designs with the paper clips and erasers. Just remember that they are not edible. At this point, the Twinkie probably isn't, either.

You've got the decorations, you've got the refreshments, now you need some super cool party games. Why not try the Stapler Boomerang Toss?

- Unfold your stapler. Bonus cool points if it's a red Swingline.

- Remove the staples, unless you're feeling adventurous.

- Chuck your stapler across the room like it's a boomerang.

- See if it comes back.

If it comes back on its own (as opposed to in the hands of an angry supervisor who does not understand the joy of Bring Yourself To Work Day), you win! Help yourself to any pen you want (read: a black Bic or a blue Bic) from the supply closet.

Disclaimer: Please do not play Stapler Boomerang Toss near interns, part-timers, or any other employees who are not elligible for the company's health insurance plan. In the event that injury occurs, treat wounds with toilet paper confetti. Not suitable for anyone under the age of 18 or anyone who wants to keep their job.

Happy Bring Yourself To Work Day, everyone! Remember, it only comes five times a week (hopefully), so enjoy the celebration while it lasts.