As you mommies (and, I suppose, you daddies; but hey, it’s the ‘Mother of all Blogs’) can attest, no matter how joyous and fulfilling the time spent with our children is, there comes a point when you want to go all “Thelma & Louise” and jump in your convertible with your best gal-pal, in search of a young, undiscovered Brad Pitt.

I have those days.  And it’s been hard, being a single parent, to carve out any time for myself that doesn’t impinge on someone else’s free time.  I am at the mercy of my few babysitters and their overworked schedules, if I want to leave the house sans baby.  When I do get out, always in the back of my mind, stressing me out, is the time constraint, the deadline, the – I wince to call a spade a spade – curfew.  I have to ask permission to ‘stay out late,’ at something as innocuous as game night at a friend’s house. I  can’t afford to tick off my sitters, who happen to be my mother and aunt.  They have jobs and commitments, too, and I can’t work them into the ground so I can see more than one movie a year.

Um… can I?  No, I know, Mom.

Irrespective of my babysitting requirements, I don’t actually have a lot of things to go to.  As infrequently as we are able to go out, my dear friend Glen is pretty much my socializing catalyst.  We attend musical theater, we’re in a book club, we have game nights, we go to the movies… If he wasn’t gay, I’d be all set.  But alas.

I do have several mommy friends, but it’s difficult to get together with them, for the same reasons I have.  On this coast, for elementary school age and below, I have one single-mom friend, two friends with three children, and one friend with five (as of this writing – they’re going for number six by Christmas.  Good luck, you-know-who!).  I have three friends that are an hour or more away.  And let’s not forget that I work Friday nights.  Needless to say, there’s not a lot of spontaneous “hey, let’s go out tonight!” phone calls in my life these days.

Historically, my major source for friendship (and dating, but that’s another blog post) has been my officemates.  Working at a newspaper with a midnight deadline, though, doesn’t afford us the opportunity to go out as a group that often.  Well, some of them do – but part-time single mommy’s at home way before they hit the town.

So what’s a gal to do?  Fellow mothers are too busy.  What about non-mothers?  Well, that comes with its own eggshells to tread upon.  The mom doesn’t want to bore the non-mom with constant mom-talk, and the non-mom (hopefully) doesn’t want to impose her unsolicited advice and inexperienced two cents’ worth, at the risk of alienating the mom.  But at least non-moms are usually more available.

What it all boils down to is this: We all need time away from our responsibilities and daily stress, time to be with friends – time to be ourselves, apart from being a parent.  So… who wants to have a playdate with me?

Next time: Who’s Your Daddy?