I had two people tell me that I came off “selfish” and “self-aggrandizing” in my blog entitled “The Surprising Benefits of Single Motherhood.”  My intention in that blog had been to simply find a fun, positive twist on a situation that is often portrayed and perceived as negative.  Now, fearing those labels again, I begin this blog with the caveat: I am not bragging here.

I know my days with my accommodating, polite, friendly toddler are probably numbered.  But I can dream, can’t I?

As the days until my daughter’s second birthday dwindle down to a precious few, I am constantly reminded – jokingly and otherwise – of the possible pending 180-degree change in her personality.  My friend Janice, also a single mom, has a daughter six weeks older than mine.  She wincingly apologizes every time her child refuses to share, or has a meltdown in public.  But I think she’s secretly hoping to see mine begin the same behavior, so she can be relieved of the feeling that she’s alone in weathering this storm. 

But we all know she’s not alone.  Everyone has experienced “the terrible twos,” either firsthand or via frustrated tales from their mommy friends.  Dr. Alan Greene coined an alternative moniker of “the first adolescence,” as it’s really a time for children to begin trying to assert themselves by making their own decisions.  Problem is, toddlers want to make decisions, but don’t fully have the capacity to do so.  That’s when the meltdowns occur.

Pediatrics.about.com offers some good suggestions for avoiding some of the frustrations for both toddler and parent:

• having a regular routine for meals, naps, bedtime, etc. and try to stick to them each day
• offer limited choices only, like 'would you like apples or oranges for your snack' and not just 'what do you want for your snack'. This helps your toddler feel like he is making some decisions and has power over things, but he isn't able to choose unacceptable alternatives.
• learn to set limits about things and don't be surprised when your toddler tries to test those limits to see what he can get away with
• don't give in to tantrums
• begin to use time-out and taking away privileges as discipline techniques
• provide your toddler with a safe environment that is well childproofed to explore and play in. It really isn't fair that your toddler should get in trouble for playing with something he isn't supposed to if you left it within reach.

I feel like I am doing most of the list.  I haven’t had to implement time-outs yet, thankfully.  I am not looking forward to the day I have to actively discipline my daughter, beyond verbally.  At this point, I think we’re both saying “No!” with about the same daily frequency.  But overall, she really isn’t acting out too much yet (see caveat).  It’s a pleasure to be with her (see caveat).  She’s sweet, funny, affectionate, kind, accommodating and willing to share (see caveat).  She eats absolutely anything I put in front of her (have I mentioned the caveat?).

But I know the day will come when she suddenly does not like broccoli, does not say “OK” when I tell her it’s time for bed, and does not accept “no” for an answer.  And that’s the day I will drop her off at Janice’s house, since she has a six-week head start on dealing with it.  Right, Janice?