I went food shopping today.  Let me read you some of the items purchased:  organic 2% milk; bananas, strawberries and blackberries; omega-3 and flax pita bread; 99% lean ground turkey; wild-caught salmon.

And salt-and-vinegar potato chips.  And marshmallow Whippets.

I’ve spent a lot of the last two years banging on about two things: how I hate my weight, and how I am hell-bent on breaking the cycle of sugar addiction and obesity in my family, by raising my daughter to love healthy, whole, “clean” food.

Maybe I should actually set an example.

I used to have a bumper sticker that said “If you can’t be a role model, be a terrible warning.”  I found it amusing – back when I didn’t have two big blue eyes staring adoringly up at me, looking for guidance.  Now it’s more than time for me to step up to the plate – and said plate should only have food on it that I would want my daughter to eat.

Since she’s been eating solid foods, I’ve found myself eating certain foods in secret, behind her back.  I’d be rocking her to sleep, fantasizing about what I’d plow through once she was in her crib.  Like, say, the empty box of Whippets sitting next to my computer as I type this.

I don’t want to be a “do what I say, not what I do” mother.  I don’t want my kid to finally put it together and say “wait a minute!  How come you’re eating Lucky Charms and I can’t?”  That’s not fair. 

And more pressing is the fact that I’m a single parent.  I can’t afford to be lax about my health.  I don’t want anyone else raising my daughter because I dug my own grave with a fork and a spoon.

Tonight I’m having a presentation at my house about eating to maintain correct blood-sugar levels, and eating based on the glycemic index.  If you’re interested in reading about it, you can also check it out online.  I think it will be a good fit for me, as I currently eat sporadically and therefore overcompensate when I do, which is not conducive to weight loss or health. 

I’ve also been spending more time outdoors, as it’s finally feasible to do so.  I even went for a run/walk last night (in the dark, of course!).  I wish I had a friend to go walking with around here; there’s a great rail trail near my house, and Mine Falls, but I don’t feel 100% safe to go alone as a woman, especially with a toddler.

Anyway… Bottom line is this: I want my daughter to look up to me, to see me as a successful role model worthy of emulation.  And the only way to ensure that is to become that person.  Cue the Hoobastank song…