I have a small family.  Two parents, an aunt, a sister-in-law, a nephew and my daughter.  That’s it.  Five adults, two children.  Over the last couple years, we’ve slowly started phasing out giving Christmas presents.  Last year, when my brother died, any remaining shreds of festive feelings we had were washed away in bitter tears.  So this year, we are officially skipping the whole thing altogether.  My mother will be working all day, and I will be working at the paper all night.  I will spend Christmas Eve in Maine with my good friends Tracy and June, at their calm and beautiful home, drinking wine and watching my toddler chase their dog.

When we were younger and still living at home, our father used to get in very bad funks during the holiday season.  A devout Catholic, he would be angry and depressed that the rest of his family did not attend church.  Eventually, we would hear the record blasting from the stereo in his study: “Where is the Christ in Christmas?”  One particularly jaunty December, he called us “heathen scum.”  Ho ho ho.

I don’t tell you these things to elicit pity or sympathy, or to lambaste my dad.  He still gets depressed every holiday season, but fortunately, he doesn’t seem to know where that record went.  The reason I tell you these things is… I agree with him.

If we’re not going to go to church and celebrate The Reason for the season, then why are we still rushing around and stressing out, spending money on gifts that have become obligatory and not heartfelt?  Why are we buying presents for everyone, when we aren’t giving any ‘presence’ to the One whose birthday we’re marking?  It doesn’t make sense to me.

I know people buy gifts for others to show their love at a loving time of the year, and they enjoy doing it.  I certainly love giving gifts in general.  But ‘round here at Christmastime, it just ends up stressing my family out, worrying about how much to spend, what to get whom, dealing with the crowds, etc.  So forget it, I said.  Let’s just get the toddlers something.

Personally, I detest shopping.  Yes, I’m a bad ‘girl.’  I don’t enjoy it at all, and avoid it like the plague.  If I do buy gifts, it’s usually from a catalog, from the convenience of my own couch, or online.  I will say that Nashua’s downtown merchants have gone a long way to removing my abhorrence of the task.  It’s so nice and personal and relaxed shopping on Main Street, it’s a much more enjoyable experience. 

But overall, I just can’t buy into… buying, for the sake of buying.  The frenzied department-store commercials are starting to really bug me.  BUY!  HURRY!  SPEND, SPEND, SPEND!  Get out there with the crazed masses and do your civic duty to boost the economy!  And get that parking spot before that minivan does!!!

Ack.

I have one present under my tree: a small babydoll for my sweet little babydoll.  My daughter and I will go to Maine, have a delicious gourmet dinner cooked by Tracy, and hang our stockings by the chimney with care.  We’ll enjoy the silence of the blanket of snow on the rural landscape, and snuggle up in our cozy bed together.