– or, how ‘staying up all night’ has radically changed definition for me

My baby managed to make it to 18 months relatively illness-free.  She had a couple bouts with a runny nose, but otherwise, perfect health.  You know, except for those pesky head injuries (see “Headbanger’s Bawl”)… But this fall, I signed her up for some enrichment classes to get her out of the house a couple days a week, and to get her some face-time with kids her own age.  And that’s when the mucus really hit the fan.

My toddler, like thousands around the country right now, is in the throes of cold season.  And now with the drug companies voluntarily recalling their children’s cough medicines, parents don’t have a heck of a lot left in our meager arsenals that we can pull out and feel like we’re helping.  We all just have to tough it out.  And that makes for some long nights.

My daughter has had two colds in the last four weeks, and has excreted her weight in mucus (really, is there a funnier word than ‘mucus’?  I think not.).  This doesn’t really seem to bother her too much during the day; her energy level has been great, and her activity hasn’t waned.  She will come to me when she wants her nose wiped, but otherwise, it’s not really slowing her down.  When it bothers her the most is at night, when she can’t breathe out of her nose, and her pacifier is preventing her from breathing out of her mouth.  May I suggest a blowhole?

One night – technically, one morning, as it was around 3 a.m. –  she awoke crying, and I went in to soothe and rock her.  She was burning up.  I checked her temperature; it was elevated, but not to an alarming, seek-medical-help level.  Exhausted myself, I couldn’t face staying in the hard wooden rocking chair and relocated us to the living room, so that I could lay down in the recliner with my legs up.  I placed her hot little body on my chest, and gently rubbed her back as I listened to her labored breathing.  She was soon asleep again, but I stayed awake, on duty.  She soaked through the front of my nightshirt.  As I arranged a light blanket over us anyway, I also tried to envelop her with my love.  I felt so close to her, so maternal, taking care of her and holding her in our cozy little chair-nest while she was sick.  Knowing that my presence was enough to calm her back to sleep was such a wonderful feeling.

I am prepared for those times in the future when I won’t be able to soothe or cure my daughter’s ailments, heartbreaks, and disappointments.  But for now, I am her one-stop shop for soothing banged heads, protection from strangers, and quelling the coughing jag that awakens her in the wee hours.  I am Mommy.  And I’m on duty all night.