Since my way-too-close waltzes with the Grim Reaper, I've eschewed birthday gifts and have asked instead to have birthday events. My beloved friends and family have jumped to the challenge. Last year hubby and son took me to Wentworth by the Sea where I looked out on the ocean, ate a gourmet meal and thanks to my brother calling ahead - a one and a half hour massage at the on-site spa. This spa has a heated floor so your tootsies don't get cold on the way to and from the shower. And because it was my 50th my girlfriends took me to Boston where we dined at Legal Seafoods and went to a female impersonator night club, You can't buy memories like that. Yesterday the same friends took me to see "Menopause the Musical in Boston." OK the place was packed with women who for the most part were my age or older. There were only about two men in sight and we all pondered what amount of TNT it would have taken to get our husbands launched into the audience. The play is great as everyone who has seen it knows. Who can resist "I'm having a hot flash, a tropical hot flash" sung to the tune of "We're Having a Heat Wave"? "My personal summer, is really a bummer, I'm having a hot flash."

OK the day was fantastic but I could tell my girls were not digging my attempts to go gray. My best bud Kath asked, "Can't they just dye it gray?" Would that it were possible, I'd so be there. But I'm feeling myself starting to cave. I had the two-inch stripe of gray growth at my roots which is making the blond look yellow. And I'm just so looking like my Great Aunt Anna - don't ask. I need some encouraging words or advice to fellow gray growers out there. HELP!

It's officially been one week since I've gone from auburn to blond and how has my life changed? Let's see. My gray roots aren't clearly visible at first glance, the purpose of the blond in the first place. Shelley the Super Stylist was right about going light. But my son still doesn't recognize me right away when I pick him up from school and I don't recognize myself when I walk past the mirror. I've started noticing older blond people everywhere. In the HBO movie "Bernard and Doris" Susan Sarandon wears a blond wig and frankly looks hot. OK she looks hot anyway, but it made me feel good. But here's the thing. I can still see those gray roots and my dialing finger is itching to call and get those roots covered. It's like walking past a bagle store with your jaws wired shut. I have to be strong. I have to be strong for the roots' sake. Afterall this whole experiment is about seeing what a 51-year-old woman looks like without the benefit of chemicals - at least on her scalp - the prescription chemicals I'm not willing to give up quite yet.

Speaking of which, and the title of this blog, there isn't a day that goes by when I think I have had my last "flash." Yes that's what I'm going to call them from now on, dropping the "hot" because instead of making me feel decrepid, it makes me feel powerful - kind of like a forgetful superhero. "Hi I'm Flash Woman. My power is to forget all, sweat in a blizzard and kill bad guys with my chin waddle." Watch out Stan Lee. I'm on my way.

I recevied this email todayfrom a friend in Florida who wanted me to post this.:

There is another victim of the condition , in the south known as the Vapors, or MENOPAUSE as the rest as the world knows.

That victim is the significant other ,husband, worst half ,spouse, and yes THE RECEIVER of hell unleashed.

Because the male victim is adaptive with all the conditions imposed on by the Menopausal victim  ( when in the menopausal state they fail to be women or for that matter human). In my case, instead of running away or  drinking in a dark closet, I opt to design clothing for the male victim. The ensemble comes in all colors except red or associated hues.

This article of clothing has the fiber technology first developed by NASA and the durability of the combat uniform used by our troops in the Middle-East.

Let me introduce you the SHWORTZ. Half shorts and half sweats . If the daughter of the DEVIL feels warm you can quickly release the bottom half of the pants and the sleeves of the top with our patented Velcro Fast ReleaseT . The opposite process is employed when She Devil is cold. The process take less than 90 seconds.

Victims , you may be living in Hades but don't run away or whimper buy a few pairs of the SHWORTZ and SUFFER IN COMFORT.

DISCLAMER: Will not work with VIAGRA

                        

OK so I took the step. I went to Shelley the Magnificent - my hair stylist. She decided to pull my now 3/4 red, 1/4 white hair through a frosting cap and put in superlight highlights to ease the pain of root grow out syndrome. I wasn't paying that much attention to my hair actually. I was enjoying our conversation, the spring water and my time under the dryer to activate the lightener. I flipped through every glam and hair magazine searching for stunning gray heads. Truth be told there were one or two but they just looked like young hot models with gray wigs. No resemblance to moi. Shelley eventually took me to the sink, washed my hair then brought me over to the mirror and chair for styling. I screamed. I don't know what I expected but it wasn't a platinum blonde. Now truth be told my hair has been every color hair can be - including bald. I've been coloring for 25 years and in no way have been shy about experimenting. There was the New Year's Eve I let my four-year-old son pick out any color in the drugstore he wanted my hair to be. He wanted me to look like our black lab, Mikey, and picked out Midnight Black. OK here's the thing. The midnight part was a distinct shade of dark blue.

So it's hard to shock me. But the blonde did. And you definitely could not notice my effort to grow out the gray. Hey even husband who didn't even notice when I dyed my hair blue seems to like it. My son, however, is threatening to dump a bucket of red paint over my head to return it to normal. You know this blonde thing is growing on me. I don't feel as invisible as I did before and several of my friends really seem to like it. Maybe if I just chicken out about the whole gray thing I'll just keep the Jean Harlow thing going. When I can figure out how, I will post the photos. For now I'm off to celebrate my second half a century of life looking like someone else. I hightly recommend it.

OK it's killing me. There's a halo of white forming around my red hairline. I've noticed the only gray-haired people on tv are doing Life Alert commercials. No Emmy Lou Harris hotties. What am I doing?

So I just get back from my my salon in Hudson and talked to Shelly, the owner and stylist supreme. We talked about the gray thing. Unlike her mom, Penny, who wasn't too keen on my going gray, Shelly is willing to explore the possibilities. And she has a great idea. Instead of putting in lowlights, she's going to take the rest of my hair and put it through a cap and make some pieces as light as possible so they'll blend with the gray. Sounds like a plan, but still freaks me out. I intend to share all the trials and tribs as well as the ghastly photos. According to some of the forums http://www.realself.com/blog/celebrities-gray-hair.htmlI've read out there a lot of the women say it's the other women in their lives that don't want them to go gray. Those who have taken the plunge say men flirt with them more. I find this hard to believe but I did read an article in More magazine in which a 40-something reporter went out with her brown hair and not one guy hit on her, but when she wore a gray wig, all these guys couldn't stay away from her. you have to wonder, are these guys into the mommy thing or do they believe that the widsom that comes with age is somehow hot?

Hi, thanks for the new posts, Bitsy and Kris - what great writers. So here's the thing. I've been coloring my hair since I saw those first stiff and nasty grays when I was 25. So if I do the math - which I don't do - I've spent about $1000 a year - OHMYGOD that's $25,000! I could have had a nice eyelift and microderm for that. So I'm going to try to ditch the dye. My hair is totally gray. Scratch that. My hair is white. Penny, my stylist said it has no color and gray is a color. But the question is, can I live through the unattractive prospect of half gray -half white hair? My ten year old son said he's opposed. Let's face it. If I let the natural hair come through the dirty little secret that his mom is the age of most of his friend's grandmothers will  be readily apparent. I'm about to dive into the internet to see how I can make this transition a little easier. I've already read about women who have done everything from wearing humongo headbands to putting low lights in the gray. I'm hoping for an Emmy Lou Harris thing, but I'm afraid I might end up with a Grandma Moses thing instead. Advice from others of you out there

OK so here’s the thing. I am writing this blog in 20 point type so I can see what I’m doing without reading glasses. But what’s truly pathetic is that I’m wearing contacts lenses too. 

(Read More...)